With haiku, naturally.
We give you, then, our reactions to DC/Warner Bros. Avengers remake via our terrible impressions of an ancient literary artform.
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| You can't see it in the picture, but they're both punching the audience. |
Bats and Supes and Lex
Nothing in that whole movie
Made a drop of sense.
Mike chose particular moments in the film to respond to:
Bruce Wayne is sleepy
Please wake up, Bruce! Wake up, Bruce!
Your dreams really suck
...and...
You are not my friend
Your mom's name is Martha too?
Let's work together
That last particular plot point was echoed by Zhaoyun:
Benry fight a lot
What could make Subatman one?
Jesse and Martha
This prompted English Scribbler to weigh in on the nature of our haiku, with a dubious haiku of his own:
Spoiler-filled these haiku are
Is Affleck wearing a Wonderbra?
Affleck, of course, was the big question heading into the weekend, which I answered:
Sure, Affleck is fine
But can Eisenberg's face stop
Twitching all the time?
Tia took a broader view of things:
Leave it to these two
To sour the debut of
New Wonder Woman
...as did English Scribbler...
Big crass smash
The grumpy boys clash
Studio takes all our cash
While our editor-in-chief, The G, opted out entirely.
I did not see it
And I will never see it
Better shit to do.
And Dean made a suggestion for those who made the same call:
Vote with your money
Why not go see Zootopia?
It has a real plot
And while I understand that when we decide to review movies in haiku we're all winners, in a more literal sense, Charles was the winner. Because he gave us this:
Their faces so close,
lips ache, capes touch in shadow.
Why so serious?
Posted by Vance K, co-editor of nerds of a feather, flock together since 2012. Written by the team.
