I did not see Fantastic
Four. I don’t need to taste spoiled milk to know it’s spoiled. I’ll take
your word. Same as I’ve taken the internet’s word on the unmitigated disaster
that the film is.
Allegedly. I haven’t seen it.
But this post isn’t about that film. It’s about a
hypothetical film, one that hopefully won’t get made. And one that no one seems to want. But, I already wrote this post, so...
We all know by now that Fox has the film rights to the
Fantastic Four—for another five years or so as a result of rushing this latest
installment into production. We also know that Fox has the film rights to the
X-Men universe, a property the studio hasn’t completely mangled, at least not recently.
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| So serious... |
Marvel isn’t happy about this, of course, having made the
deals back in the ‘90s when the company was on the verge of bankruptcy. The
company even appears to be actively
sabotaging the Fox properties by phasing them out of the comic universe, thereby giving Fox no new characters to use or plots to adapt.
But, there’s a chance that Marvel can get its hands on the
Fantastic Four. With the monumental failure of the latest reboot (as of this
writing, it hasn’t turned a profit), Fox may be forced by its
shareholders to work out some kind of deal á la Sony with Spider-Man. And now
with Fox wanting to expand the X-Men
universe into TV—and with Marvel owning the TV rights to those
characters—Marvel’s first family may come home.
Marvel just wouldn’t get the Fantastic Four. They’d get Dr.
Doom, the Silver Surfer, Galactus, the Skrull, Franklin Richards. Others, I suppose. All could soon make their
appearance in the MCU.
There are great characters in the Fantastic Four universe. While I cannot imagine
that the Silver Surfer will look much different from his previous
incarnation—the only thing good from those early installment—Galactus would
certainly be something akin to the Celestial walk-on in Guardians of the Galaxy. Yes, we’d actually Galactus as a god—not a
space cloud. And Avengers: The
Kree-Skrull War and Avengers: Secret
Invasions (jettisoning most of the source material from the latterl, of
course).
And Dr. Doom, possibly the greatest comic villain of all
time. Marvel desperately needs interesting villains.
You know which characters are more or less unnecessary? The
Fantastic Four themselves.
Would a Marvel Studio’s Fantastic
Four be any good?
Well, it would probably be a lot like Fox’s previous FF movies: a bit more colorful than the
standard gritty fare we’re fed and a lot more tongue-in-cheek. Even the cast
wouldn’t look much different: a collective of relative no-names, a handful of
B-Listers, and maybe a bona fide star or two in support—plus a Nick Fury or
Tony Stark cameo. There’s a chance that this formula would work better this
time around. After all, the first Fantastic
Four came out in 2005, the same year of the first Nolan Batman and five
years after Singer’s interpretation of the X-Men. With Batman and Robin in recent memory, there seemed to be a consensus,
within the industry and among fans, that the only way to translate comics into
film was to up the grit, thereby “grounding” the story in the real world. Fantastic Four and Rise of the Silver Surfer doesn't fit that gritty mold—as the
newest version seems to have conclusive proven.
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| They almost look like they enjoyed making the movie. |
But things have changed since 2005. In spite of commonsense, Marvel Studios gambled on making
fun and often funny films, presenting their characters pretty much as they are
written in the comics—maybe even a bit less gritty and realistic than the
many incarnations of these heroes. So, the Fantastic Four seems perfect in
the actually-enjoyable MCU.
A Marvel Fantastic
Four film could look a lot like Guardians
of the Galaxy—or at the very least Ant-Man.
Like those characters, the Fantastic Four aren’t among Marvel’s more
“realistic” heroes, so the Studio could have fun with them. But, unlike the
previously mentioned Marvel fare, the Fantastic Four does not benefit from
being relatively unknown. They got baggage.
Does anyone like Fantastic
Four? Yes, no one really likes Ant-Man. But few of us even have an opinion
on Ant-Man. Most comic fans have an opinion on the Fantastic Four—and not a
favorable one. Yes, we all pay lip service to the original Kirby-Lee run. But
by the darkening eighties, the Fantastic Four seemed so out of step with the
grittiness that was overtaking the medium, grittiness we fans demanded and ate
up. While Spider-Man survived the Great Darkening, the Fantastic Four are no
Spider-Man. Peter Parker, however, epitomizes much of what actual humans go through. The Fantastic Four as a set of human characters are weak and no very relatable
in comparison. Hey, there’s the scientist guy! And the cocky hot shot! And the
tough one! And…a woman…
We certainly never cared enough about the team to actually buy
the book. And we don’t care to see the movie either.
Certainly, a Marvel Studio’s Fantastic Four would likely not be the unmitigated disaster that
Fox’s latest effort is. But Marvel Studios would probably have made many of the
same
mistakes that Fox did. Marvel, after all, has a history of putting untested
directors at the helm of big budget projects. Marvel may have even hired Josh
Trank on the basis of Chronicle, just
as Fox did. Furthermore, Marvel’s success stems in large part from its
oversight on productions, ensuring that films look and feel like bona fide MCU movies. Edgar Wright’s exit from Ant-Man
was the result of this oversight. Would Marvel had acted any different than Fox
on the set of the film?
At the end of the day, we really don’t need a Marvel Fantastic Four. The Marvel Cinematic
Universe is pretty full as it is, with a dozen characters in waiting. Sure,
Marvel probably would love to get their first family back, but as it stands the
MCU is probably crowded enough. And Marvel should focus on making
Spider-Man—another character I’ve never cared about—decent again. Not for me.
For the fans.
Plus, wouldn’t you rather have Marvel involved in an Old Man Logan or X-Factor Netflix series? Unless Marvel is planning a series based
on Ed Brubaker’s Doom. I’ll sit through
another boring FF moving for that.
