The Meat
1986. Jeff Goldblum. Geena Davis. That should really be enough to sell this movie to anyone who hasn't already seen it. It's a horror classic and an effing tragedy with a fantastic climax. Sure, it's a little silly that the catalyst for the plot is basically the chocolate transmitter from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. After the set-up, this movie is a disturbing, lasting experience.
The special effects for this movie are magnificently undated. They remain grotesque and horrifying. No really, it's seriously gross in a way that will satisfy every ten year old boy on the planet, but the love story and the conclusion -- the ultimate sacrifice -- are done so well that there is a surprising depth and sadness to the tragic path the characters follow.
Also, young Jeff Goldblum is ripped and hot.
The Math
Objective Quality: 8/10
Bonuses: +1 for one of the most quotable lines in movie history ("Be afraid. Be very afraid."), +1 for grossness
Penalties: -1 for pretty-goddamn-grossness.
Cult Value Coefficient: 9/10
YEAH SERIOUSLY 9/10
[See explanation of our non-inflated scores here.]
