Contributor Profile: Shana DuBois

The flock is growing! In a moment of introspection, we noticed a Shana sized hole in our collective hearts and knew immediately that we could not go on without trying to fill it. Happily for the flock, Shana DuBois agreed to come on board and fill that hole. 

Many of you know Shana from her contributions to the lamentably defunct SF Signal, her own blog BooksAbound, twitter (@booksabound), and Luna Station Quarterly. She is also relaunching the SF Signal Mind Meld at the Barnes and Noble Science Fiction & Fantasy Blog. What we're saying is that she's awesome and that we're really glad to have her here. 

So, please give Shana a hearty welcome. 

And - as per tradition, here is Shana's Contributor Profile.
-Joe

NAME: Shana DuBois

SECRET UNDISCLOSED LOCATION: Tennessee (apt to change at any given moment)

NERD SPECIALIZATION(S): Short Fiction, Fantasy, Mythology & Fairy Tales

MY PET PEEVES IN NERD-DOM ARE: People looking down on other fandoms and the lack of diverse offerings in all genre mediums.

VAMPIRES, WEREWOLVES, ZOMBIES, ALIENS OR ROBOTS: Werewolves. Or maybe Vampires? Possibly Robots. Werewolves are definitely on the list. And Robots.

RIGHT NOW I'M READING: Hahahaha, the stack is massive. However, a few titles are: Los Nefilm (Frohock), The Devourers (Das), Goth (Otsuichi), Join (Toutonghi).

...AND A COUPLE BOOKS I RECENTLY FINISHED ARE: A Head Full of Ghosts (Tremblay), The Geek Feminist Revolution (Hurley), Heart of Veridon (Akers), The Vegetarian (Kang), Silver on the Road (Gilman).

NEXT TWO ON QUEUE ARE: Beyond Redemption (Fletcher) and The Telling (Sirowy)

MY FAVORITE SUPERHERO AND SUPER-VILLAIN ARE: Storm has always been my favorite superhero. My favorite super-villain would be tied between Loki and the Joker.

IF I WERE A SUPERHERO/VILLAIN, MY POWER WOULD BE: The same shifting powers as Mystique.

THE BEST COMIC FILM OF THE PAST 5 YEARS IS: Guardians of the Galaxy and Green Lantern. Two very different movies and I enjoyed both.

THE WORST COMIC FILM OF THE PAST 5 YEARS IS: Man of Steel.

I JUST WATCHED [FILM X] AND IT WAS AWESOME: Star Trek Beyond

I JUST WATCHED [FILM Y] AND IT WAS TERRIBLE: This is harder for me to pin down because if a movie looks like it will be crap I don't waste time watching it. Batman v Superman falls into this category.

EVERYONE SHOULD SEE [FILM Z] BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE: Raise the Red Lantern. I first saw this film nearly twenty years ago and it remains one of the most powerful films I've seen. It can be hard to track down but worth it.

BEST SCIENCE/SPECULATIVE FICTION SHOW OF THE PAST 10 YEARS: Because of the recent airing of Season 10 for X-Files I am going to make the executive decision to allow its inclusion for the 10 year limitation.

WORSE ENDING--LOST OR BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: Brace yourself...I haven't watched either series.

THE OFFICE--BRITISH OR AMERICAN VERSION: British.

GAME OF THRONES--LIKE OR DISLIKE DEVIATIONS FROM THE BOOKS: While I own the seasons, I have yet to watch them all so I can't yet comment on deviations.

Nanoreviews [books]: Dark Run, Flesh & Wires, An Apprentice to Elves

Brooks, Mike. Dark Run [Saga Press, 2016]

The novel opens with a mercenary crew getting a job to smuggle some cargo into "Old Earth" on a particular date at a particular time. The job goes sideways. As jobs like this do when they open the novel. The motley crew led by a man named Ichabod Drift (it's that sort of book) wants some revenge. Dark Run is somewhat, well, dark, but fun and fast paced and is a very solid debut from Brooks. It's a little bit of space opera and space western and it's well worth a look.
Score: 7/10

Hatton, Jackie. Flesh & Wires [Aqueduct Press, 2016]

Jackie Hatton's debut novel of feminist science fiction takes on one of my favorite tropes, which is the post-apocalyptic novel - except that this isn't really the story Hatton is telling, it's just the framework. After an alien invasion (and I so love typing those two words), the Earth is left with scattered pockets of deeply scarred survivors. There are few men and a number of the women are augmented by another group of aliens with technology so advanced it might as well be considered magic - except that Flesh & Wires is deeply rooted in the survival of humanity and of the survival of one particular community led by a woman named Lo. I couldn't put Flesh & Wires down and expect it to be in the end of year conversation for my favorite novels of the year. I want more of this.
Score: 9/10

Monette, Sarah and Elizaebth Bear. An Apprentice to Elves [Tor, 2015]

If you haven't been reading Monette and Bear's Iskyrne trilogy, you've really missed out. Also, you may not want to start with An Apprentice to Elves. While each of the three volumes mostly stand on their own, they do build from each other and build the relationships between the characters and over the course of a generation. Monette and Bear have crafted a hard world above an arctic circle complete with companion wolves, battles with trolls and wyverns, an invading army threatening the culture of the northlands, the expectations of family and the feeling of being an outsider in a different culture, and so many other things that I just can't put into words. While I do recommend starting with A Companion to Wolves (my review) to get the most complete experience, I highly recommend the full trilogy.

Score: 8/10


POSTED BY: Joe Sherry - Writer / Editor at Adventures in Reading since 2004. Nerds of a Feather contributor since 2015, editor since 2016. Minnesotan.

Microreview [novel]: The Root by Na'amen Gobert Tilahun

You'll want to set aside some time in your calendar to do nothing but read this book...

Erik thought things were weird enough being a former child television star and current social pariah having to navigate bullying and a home life that's…well, not exactly the most peaceful. When he finds out that he has honest-to-goodness super powers and is part of a conflict stretching back into prehistory? Well, what defines "weird" officially changes. And it kicks off an adventure ripe with secret organizations, parallel worlds, mysterious and hungry darkness, and more hidden agendas than a dozen spy movies. In short, it's a lot of fun, with a chorus of amazing voices and characters, a deep and interesting setting, and a fast pace and brilliant action with just enough tragedy, romance, darkness, and hope to keep me glued to the pages and grumpy af that I have to wait for the next book to come out.

If it sounds like that is a lot to fit into one book, I kind of agree with you. It's not short and it is full. Mostly it splits its action between two parallel stories. In the one, Erik is learning about his powers and the political situation on Earth between the Organization and the Agency, two rather faceless entities that come down on opposite ends of an ages old feud between the children of the gods. In the other, Lil is being trained in magic languages in Zebub, a dimension that mirrors Earth but that is being attacked by a mysterious and deadly force. In both settings, powers determine hierarchy and privilege, and in both children are being trained as warriors to fight in this ancient war whose origin has been lost through conflict. And having the true origins of this war be lost is an interesting choice because at the same time that it allows the characters to sort of handwave the particulars away as "unknown" it also means the reader isn't bogged down with how all these religions could possibly be brought into one explanation. It might not be the most satisfying for those really wanting to dig into how it all works or got started, but for me it was a way for the book to say "hey, try not to think too hard about that and maybe look instead at all the awesome and off-the-wall shit happening." Which worked for me because that's the situation Erik finds himself in, having to put aside his questions in favor of trying to do good now.

It's also a lot to fit into one book because there's a lot of things to keep track of. The plot is split between the two storylines that slowly converge but there's also a number of viewpoints within each storyline that fleshes out the worlds and offers some hints and insights into things that the main characters aren't aware of. Juggling so many perspectives is by no means easy but the novel pulls it off with style, giving each person a unique voice and mission, popping into certain characters' heads only once before darting away to the next thing. None of these asides from Erik or Lil felt insignificant, though, and each helped to push forward the plot and solidify various motivations and intrigues slowly simmering in the background. For all that Erik and Lil take up most of the real estate, this novel is about factions and loyalty and betrayals, something that the jumping around helped me keep track of and which made the individual personalities that much more real and compelling. The personal beats are definitely present, the jealousies and the budding loves and the everything.

And can I say that I just love all the different relationships and people in this book? Because it is amazing to me to find a book with such a diverse cast, where queer characters outnumber straight ones, where characters of color outnumber white ones. I love all the ways the characters connect and form friendships and rivalries and alliances. The way that Erik starts to have feelings for his mentor while still dealing with the shit from his impressively dramatic breakup with his first boyfriend who ended up in jail because of it. The way that Lil finds herself coming into her own power and her own feelings and sexuality and there is just so much to like about this. I want more, okay? I want whole books that explore the side characters because they are so alive. No one is treated as disposable, as flat. They all have inner lives and inner fires and I want to see them all get their own books. Their own series! Their own shared movie universe! And I might be getting ahead of myself a bit but seriously this is about the most fun I've had with a book in a long while.

And really this is one of those reads where most of my frustrations stem from the fact that it's the first book in a series. That the world building could have been a bit clearer to me in parts didn't really bother me because I expect the lingering questions to be answered in future books. What exactly happened to sever the Blooded from their Zebub counterparts is hazy but I'm guessing that central mystery will push forward the overall plot of the series, and the book definitely earned my trust that it will be awesome when the reveal eventually happens. Similarly, the book covers a lot of ground and in doing so seeded a lot of conflict that didn't exactly get a chance to breathe. Just when it seemed like some hinted-at plot was about to be revealed something completely different would happen and kind of shatter my expectations. Which again, I liked, but it did mean that by the end there was a whole lot still hanging in the air that didn't feel resolved. This gives a lot of momentum going into the rest of the series but I fear this might mean I will definitely have to reread this first book directly before the next to be able to remember all that was going on. Which isn't the worst problem to have, I'll admit, given how fun the novel is.

In the end, I think the novel succeeds magnificently at setting the ground rules for the setting and revealing an amazing cast of characters and just enough of the world to make for a compelling and deep experience. While there are a few things that are left to be ironed out in later books, this first taste has left me ravenous for more and I very much look forward to seeing where the series leads.

The Math:

Baseline Assessment: 8/10

Bonuses: +2 for OMG ALL THE QUEER CHARACTERS AND RELATIONSHIPS :D

Negatives: -1 for not tying up loose ends so much as throwing a dozen news threads into the mix at the end of the book

Nerd Coefficient: 9/10 "very high quality/seriously go read this now and then weep that the second book isn't out yet" see our full rating system here.

--
POSTED BY: Charles, avid reader, reviewer, and sometimes writer of speculative fiction. Contributor to Nerds of a Feather since 2014.

Reference: Tilahun, Na'amen Gobert. The Root [Night Shade Books, 2016]

Thursday Morning Superhero

I feel that normalcy has returned to my life as my calendar is free and my kids are returning to school.  While my pull list is a short one this week, all three books are stellar and I remain a happy camper.

Pick of the Week:
Superf*ckers Forever #1 - Oh how I adore James Kochalka.  American Elf was an amazing experience and Johnny Boo has been a staple in my kids introduction to comics.  I've read some Superf*ckers back in the day and am delighted to see the classic humor unfold again in a new miniseries.  I giggled at the immature and ridiculous humor in this book and look forward to reading more.  The premise of the story is that Jack has lost his vagina and is concerned because he doesn't have a place to store his wieners.  This sets up the storyline for the remaining four issues in this miniseries from IDW.  You read that correctly.  This is definitely not for everyone, but for those that enjoy absurd and slightly rude humor than this will be right up your alley. This was such a pleasant surprise to see and I am hoping that more Johnny Boo is on the horizon as well.

The Rest:
Batman: Rebirth #5 - The showdown between Batman and Gotham did not disappoint.  The highlight was Alfred donning the cowl as Batman was a bit late to the party, but the fireworks occurred when the Justice League had to intervene.  It seems that Gotham and Gotham girl bought their powers on the black market and have a variety of powers that make them incredibly tough to stop.  The scenes where robin is trying to get information from Gotham Girl while Gotham is creating difficulties for the Justice league is a great juxtaposition and works well in this book.  Solid first arc for the new creative team and I look forward to seeing what is next.


Tales from the Darkside #3 - This series continues its bizarre path through the mind of Brian Newman and his evil twin, Big Winner.  Through a series of seizures, Brian seems to impact those around him and is attempting a surgery that will remove Big Winner from his brain.  This surgery involves a sort of chip implant and things don't seem to be going well.  I will admit that I don't fully understand everything that is happening in this series, but it reads like a Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez series and I feel confident all will be revealed when this series is wrapped up in issue #4.  It feels comfortable to return to a horror series from these two.




POSTED BY MIKE N. aka Victor Domashev -- comic guy, proudly raising nerdy kids, and Nerds of a Feather contributor since 2012. 

Microreview [video game]: Batman - The Telltale Series Episode 1: Realm of Shadows by Telltale Games

The Batman Cometh

Reviewer's note: Hello! Welcome to the first part in our five-part series reviewing Batman - The Telltale Series, an episodic adventure game. This is the first episode and this review will be completely spoiler-free! However, subsequent episodes will necessitate some discussion of what came before, so they will be spoiler-free for the episode being reviewed but not necessarily for the previous episodes in the series. On with the review!

I love Batman. I've been a Batman fan since I was a kid, and a lot of it was propelled by Tim Burton's 1989 Batman movie. Ever since then, anything Batman has piqued my interest. There has been plenty of ups and downs for the Dark Knight, but we've been on a real good streak in the video game world since Batman: Arkham Asylum. Batman - The Telltale Series, though completely different in nature, continues that streak of quality Batman video games.

Batman - The Telltale Series is an episodic adventure game in the same form Telltale Games has been famous for for quite a while. Rather than picking up one of the many interpretations of Batman, such as the movies or Rocksteady Arkham series video games, Batman is a new take on the character. After Batman foils the theft of an encrypted data device from city hall, Bruce Wayne is caught in a political knife fight over his support of Harvey Dent's campaign for mayor. Bruce Wayne and Batman fight on two fronts to uncover who is behind some vicious attacks on the Wayne family legacy and who called for the city hall break-in.

If you've played any recent Telltale adventure games, particularly The Wolf Among Us, you know how this game is going to play. If you haven't, these are cinematic adventure games, where the bulk of your interaction comes through dialog choices. In Batman, you spend most of the game as Bruce Wayne, playing the politics game in Gotham City. Where nearly every other Batman game focuses on punching bad guys, Batman - The Telltale Series takes a refreshing break from the cowl to put some serious metaphorical knives at Bruce's back. There's a point in the early game where I made a choice as Bruce that was supportive of a friend of mine, but looked real bad in the public eye, and the game never let me forget it. It kept coming up, and I could try to explain it away as Bruce, but it wasn't something Batman could punch until it was solved. I liked that it held me to my actions, even if it felt a little overboard, because I made a big decision at a split second. Making you feel like you're in some control over the story is what Telltale Games does best, and Batman is no exception.

Being the first episode in a series, there's a lot of scenes establishing characters. Obviously, Thomas and Martha Wayne (Bruce's murdered parents) are plainly present, but Telltale manages to give some characters an alternative look. They're instantly familiar in many ways, but different enough to give one subtle reminder: what you think you know about Batman doesn't necessarily apply here. Familiar characters, familiar setting, but this is definitely Telltale's game and doesn't have to strictly adhere to comic book, or movie, or TV show, or video game Batman universes. Again, I love this because it's keeping me on my toes.

I've got two minor complaints about this first episode. The first is that the action is pretty fast (for an adventure game), and the button prompts aren't 100% clear when it came to directional movement. I learned quick that a prompt that looked like a clockwise half-circle moving right to left really just meant push left. It's a minor complaint, but I came off as a very rookie or drunken Batman in my first fight because I was trying to do too much to match the prompt when the actual input needed was much simpler. It's something I caught on to quickly, but it was an annoyance.

The other minor complaint is that the game didn't run great. I'm not running on brand new hardware, but my PC runs much more graphically intense games than this with fewer hitches. It's good looking, but it's still the simple mostly flat style many Telltale games have. I can't really explain why it didn't run better, and the hiccups were largely between scenes, but it was noticeable. Perhaps the console versions run better.

Batman - The Telltale Series Episode 1: Realm of Shadows is a mouthful, but it's easy to recommend to Batman fans and Telltale adventure game fans. Even if you don't fit within those tastes, the political and class machinations are already heating up in this first episode. It's a strong start and I'm very excited to see what comes next. This is what I expected from Telltale; a quality game taking characters I know and giving me an experience that doesn't feel like it's completely retreading well-worn territory.

The Math

Baseline Assessment: 7/10

Bonuses: +1 recognizable Batman characters now in a different universe from what we've seen before.

Penalties: -1 technical performance leaves something to be desired

Nerd Coefficient: 7/10 (an enjoyable experience, but not without its flaws)

***

POSTED BY: brian, sci-fi/fantasy/video game dork and contributor since 2014

Reference: Telltale Games. Batman - The Telltale Series Episode 1: Realm of Shadow [Telltale Games, 2016]

Snyderisms

Do you remember Iron Man? The first one? When we were all "Robert Downey Jr is still alive? Will he stay sober on set? Yeah, right, a good Marvel movie lololol." That turned out okay, didn't it?

Well, the DC Cinematic Universe, which had the MCU template to go off of, is off to something of less than a stellar start. Three entries in, and DC fanboys are trying to shut down Rotten Tomatoes (which is just an aggregator, you idiots) because all three are getting universally low reviews. There are certainly manifold reasons for this, but I want to talk about the biggest one (in my semi-humble opinion). It has to do with Zack Snyder, and while I fully realize that a ton of blame can and should be placed at WB and DC's door, I want to focus on where Snyder fails in basically all his films, because it has essentially crippled the DCU.

Simply put, Zack Snyder does not understand subtext. What he does do is make a very pretty movie that looks exactly like his source material brought to life.

I was equal parts excited and apprehensive, as I'm sure many were, about an adaptation of Watchmen. Which, as the excellent Honest Trailer points out, is an incredibly divisive film. It is, in my opinion, a beautiful film, with some excellent touches, such as the soundtrack. It lifts scenes directly from the comic. In fact, Snyder carried a copy of Watchmen with him at all times on set. This gave me loads of confidence in what he was doing. So why is it not beloved, when it adapted one of the best stories of all time?

Because Zack Snyder does not understand subtext. Watchmen is a deep, complex story that is about a lot more than just superheroes, while also being completely satirical. None of that made it into the film. It was pretty, sure, and was a decent action romp- but that's not going to cut it when you're adapting the best graphic novel of all time.

300 is garbage, so we're not even going to talk about that. I don't think I could have been more disappointed with a movie than I was with Sucker Punch- the previews looked amazing, the action, the depth of... the... story... was like jumping off a high dive into a kiddie pool. It had no depth whatsoever. Nothing about trauma, about rape culture, any actual exploration of the human condition. Even the actual action in the movie didn't live up to the glory the trailer presented.

Then comes the ostensible beginning of the DCU, Man of Steel, which was certainly better than Superman Returns by virtue of not being completely boring. Except...

I don't even like Superman all that much, but woof. I though he stood for 'truth, justice, and the American way', although, in fairness, the way America is these days, murder *is* the American way. But Supes offing his nemesis is not exactly what he's known for. There might be in-universe reasons for it (Zod *was* about to torch a family), but it's still out there. Add in the fact that Batman- whose express edict is to not kill- murders with abandon.

Which, hey, I don't care. I'm with Punisher, if we scoot over to the MCU for a bit. Daredevil and Batman are half-measures when it comes to stopping these baddies. Them dying isn't such a bad thing- in my opinion.

But it's not my opinion that counts. The idea behind Batman and Superman is that they represent the best in humanity, and no one has accused me of being that. Batman and Superman are supposed to have the ability to be forces for good without taking lives.

This is what made Nolan's Batman trilogy so good (well, 2/3rds good. DKR sucked) - he truly understood the character, not only of Batman, but also of Gordon, Dent and the Joker, and The Dark Knight was an exploration of that- not just a bunch of action set pieces and big moments. There is tremendous depth to Ledger's Joker, and this slow momentum building to the big moments. Him leaning out the window of the captured police cruiser, his plan in motion, having been executed to perfection and followed by the unwitting pawns of Batman and the police force, epitomizes the character.

Except, it doesn't, because he is gleefully mad and glad to let Batman kill him, taunting him to 'hit me', just to get Batman to break his code. That is the Joker- and that is Batman. The Snyder-verse Batman has no such conflict. Killing the Joker would be a matter of course, since he has no problem killing criminals. One of the central conflicts of the character just isn't there. It's what makes Moore's admittedly flawed Killing Joke so powerful- Batman finally crosses the line, so does the Joker win? That's a question, for as much as I enjoy Affleck's Batman and Leto's Joker, that will never- can never- be addressed in this universe, simply because it is not a question.

In the end, what is wrong with these films and Snyder's directing and influence is not the dour tone, or even the fact that the so-called Justice League is fine killing people out of hand, it is that there is nothing beneath, no depth to them, their motivations or their conflicts. A battle between these two powerful beings is undone by a name. It's simplistic and boring. The films leap from big moment to big moment, with nothing between with lower stakes- when every moment is big, none of them are.

This causes a ripple effect even to the films he has no hand in. Look at Suicide Squad. I think, like BvS, the movie we got in theaters is not the movie we were supposed to see. There are painfully obvious reshoots, done to add humor because BvS was too dark. Guess what, WB? Suicide Squad should have been dark. And guess who the executive producer of Suicide Squad was? YUP. So Snyder reacts to the perception that BvS wasn't light enough, and assumes that making Suicide Squad funnier will be the solution - not actually exploring what makes bad guys bad, or giving them anything, like, say, character development.

DC is stumbling out of the gate, hard, and it's not because the movies aren't funny, or pretty, or lack action. It's because they lack depth.

-DESR

Microreview [book]: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by J. K. Rowling, John Tiffany, & Jack Thorne

a.k.a. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Parts 1 & 2, Special Rehearsal Edition Script

a.k.a. Harry Potter and the Plot of Convenience

a.k.a. Harry Potter and His Lightning Shaped Plot Device

This review contains spoilers for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, but if you haven’t read it yet don’t worry, you’re not missing much.

It is no secret that I am not a huge fan of what Rowling has been doing with the Potterverse, but after some soul searching, I decided to approach Harry Potter and the Cursed Child with an open mind and an open heart. Because, like nearly every other Harry Potter fan out there, I would love nothing more than another Harry Potter book. But as I’m sure you know by now, Cursed Child is not actually a book – it’s a script (to a two-part play that the vast majority of Harry Potter fans will never get to see) – and it was not actually written by J.K. Rowling, despite her name being plastered across the cover.

Surprisingly, the fact that Cursed Child is a script is likely its best feature. Good dialogue is very hard to write and Jack Thorne does a great job of advancing the plot solely through dialogue with small snippets of set direction throughout. Although, I found the overuse of the word ‘discombobulated’ off-putting, but perhaps discombobulated is a British-ism that this American isn't used to (English Scribbler?)... personally, I’d have gone with disoriented.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child begins right where Deathly Hallows left off, with the (god awful) epilogue and the children of the original series characters heading off to Hogwarts. And here is where begins an entire play of nothing but cheap plot devices. For example, the children are all overly familiar with and fond of reiterating the events of the series proper, which is an unnecessary stating of the obvious, thank you very much. It begins with Rose Granger-Weasley telling Albus Severus Potter (ugh) that it is VERY important who you sit with on your first Hogwarts Express ride because that is how their parents all met. The two of them end up sitting with Scorpius Malfoy, Draco’s son, and in an obvious reversal of Sorcerer’s Stone, Albus decides to be friends with Scorpius (who is the opposite of his father at that age) and Rose un-approvingly leaves the compartment. As you might remember from the epilogue, prior to boarding the train Albus expresses concern that he’ll be sorted into Slytherin, and he is, which of course makes him a terrible human being and everyone hates him for it. Not really, but it is the source of much resentment throughout the story, as Albus spends most of it ala Harry in OOTP minus the moldy Voldy connection to excuse it all.

The story then jumps ahead to the students’ fifth year where the major plotline is an attempt to go back in time to save the life of Cedric Diggory, of all people. This is orchestrated by Voldemort’s daughter and yes, you read that right. Apparently Voldemort got it on with Belletrix in the back of his tour bus nine months before the Battle of Hogwarts. Anyway, the product of the Voldastrange ship apparently needs Albus and Scorpius to fulfil one of the most lame prophecies ever:

When spares are spared, when time is turned, when unseen children murder their fathers: then will the Dark Lord return

I mean, now we’re not even trying anymore.

Anyway the boys get their hands on the supposed last time-turner in existence, which Hermione hides in her book shelf using a series of crappy puzzles. Their first attempt to save Cedric results in an altered timeline where Ron and Hermione do not get together causing Hermione to become a shrew, ya know, as all women do when they don’t find a man. Wait a minute Cursed Child, I have something here for you…

Cursed Child is put in time out (see here for context)

The second attempt to save Cedric involves Albus and Scorpius blowing him up like a balloon which apparently humiliates Cedric to the point that he drops out of the Tri-Wizard Tournament and becomes Death Eater extraordinaire, resulting in an altered timeline where Voldemort reigns supreme.

‘But you mentioned Hermione!’ I can hear you saying. ‘What about Harry, Hermione, and Ron?’ Well, don’t tighten your nostalgia strings yet. The trio are now in their 40s, and despite having been married for like what, 20 years, Harry and Ginny still have zero chemistry. Ginny is sports editor at the Daily Prophet, Harry is the Head of Magical Law Enforcement (and not an Auror), Hermione is Minister of Magic of course, though she doesn’t really get much respect, and Ron is such a joke that he literally runs the joke shop but for some reason is never there and is always at the Ministry of Magic to conveniently be involved in all important conversations. Very rarely do any of these characters seem like their old selves which is either a lack of understanding or execution or both by the author.

When Albus disappears Harry’s scar starts hurting again and for some reason shows him exactly where Albus is. Rita Skeeter has published what seems to be The Goblet of Fire, which all of the kids have read front to back so they know exactly what to do and where to go to find Cedric. Dumbledore has a portrait in Harry’s office, because… actually I have no idea why he would have a portrait in the Head of Law Enforcement’s office, and so on with the cheap plot devices.

I could go on, but I won’t. The play is just not very good. The plot sucks and is not at all original. It doesn't take much imagination to give your beloved characters children and have those children basically relive the events of the original characters, and that is pretty much what is going on here. I know there were convenient plot devices in the series proper, but they were enveloped by extraordinary exposition, world building, and character development. It just doesn’t work here. I’m sure the production is very beautiful and well-acted, but I, like you, will probably never get to see it.

We can, however, thank Harry Potter and the Cursed Child for two excellent Potterverse revelations: 1) the Hogwarts Express trolley witch is a knife handed warden ninja warrior, and 2) even wizards have to worry about floo-ing while intoxicated.

Oh, and by the way, I have no idea who the ‘cursed child’ is supposed to be – Delphi (Voldy’s kid)? Albus? Scorpius? Theodore? 

After reading this it has become clear that we really don't need any more Harry Potter books. I agree that his story is over. But that doesn't mean we can't have more books in the Potterverse. In particular, I think Fantastic Beasts, with a well done (read: put some effort into it) American wizarding world could make a fantastic (pun not intended) series of novels.  Fanfictioners unite!

The Math

Baseline Assessment: 8/10 because it starts with Harry Potter and the..

Bonuses: +1 for being surprisingly easy to read for a script

Penalties: -2 for making Hermione miserable without a husband, -1 for Harry’s scar serving as a missing child beacon, -1 for completely devaluing Ron to the point where he serves no purpose except poor comic relief, -1 for not even trying to create unique new characters or plotlines, -1 for dropping the ball with the only potentially good new character of Scorpius who is mostly just lame jokes and self-proclaimed geekiness which is defined only by reading books, -2 for using the names Harry Potter and JK Rowling to promote this as the eighth Harry Potter story but producing nothing but lazy drivel

Nerd Coefficient: 1/10 - especially bad considering what it claims to be and for playing on fan emotions to make money because you know that’s why they published this crap.

-------

POSTED BY: Tia   forever Harry Potter fan and Nerds of a Feather contributor since 2014

Reference: Thorne, Jack. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child [Scholastic, 2016]