WE RANK 'EM: The Films of Godzilla's Heisei Era

I don’t know if you know this, but 2021 is the year of Godzilla. Oh, it’s not an official anniversary year for the franchise and there are no special events since we are still three years away from Godzilla’s 70th Anniversary in 2024, so maybe a better way to say it would be that 2021 is MY year of Godzilla.

At the time of writing this article I have watched 24 Godzilla films this year, which is a somewhat staggering number if I stop to think about it. I started the year with the American films Godzilla: King of the Monsters and Godzilla vs Kong (as well as Kong: Skull Island). They were absolutely delightful and drove my desire to see what the original franchise of Japanese films was all about. I didn’t expect that I would watch nearly this many, but in July I wrote about the first 15 Godzilla movies comprising the “Showa Era” for the franchise. Now I’m writing about the next 7 films, which comprise the Heisei Era.

The different “eras” of the Godzilla franchise are generally named for and cover the films made during the reigns of the Japanese Emperors. The Heisei Era is named for the reign of Emperor Akihito and it reworks the continuity of the Godzilla franchise.

By production year, The Return of Godzilla would technically be part of the Showa Era of Godzilla films, but tonally it fits much more as Heisei - plus it kicked off this new era of films and the chronology works far more as The Return of Godzilla being a new thing rather than the lat Showa film. New director, new producer, new focus.

What separates the Heisei Era from the Showa Era is that Return of Godzilla is a direct sequel to the 1954 Godzilla. Everything that came after, from Godzilla Raids Again to Terror of MechaGodzilla, were discarded and didn’t count when it came to story and chronology. It has now been decades since Godzilla attacked Toyko and had been beaten back.

As with my Showa ranking, this is not definitive. I’m just having fun here, though I’m quite serious with what the best of the franchise is and what the best of the era is. Now, three of the movies were real disappointments given how good the first Heisei movies were and how strong of an ending Godzilla vs Destoroyah was, but with this many movies in the franchise I suppose we can’t expect them all to be winners - but let’s find out which one of them are!

7. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II (1993)
Oh, it’s fucking baby Godzilla in this movie. Can’t Ghidorah come back from the dead and just kill that little shit?

I am quite happy to see the baby rainbow mothra projection and the twins again even thought they said in the earlier set Godzilla vs Mothra that they'd be back to help when needed and clearly Mothra was needed and they only sent a warning to some humans which I'm not sure really helped all that much.

Space Godzilla kind of looks like one of the Gremlins once they’ve gone bad. Now I want to watch Gremlins again. This doesn’t make Godzilla a Mogwai, though someone with artistic skills should totally try to reverse engineer that. I'd like to see that picture.

There's a low angle shot of Godzilla stomping through the jungle that was just awesome and not something that we’ve seen before.

I can’t quite decide if this is a serious or campy Godzilla movie. It's not helped by the existence of Baby Godzilla, which feels like it is in a completely different movie (and not a good one, but Baby Godzilla is the WORST).

I do appreciate the bullshit theory of how Space Godzilla was formed from Godzilla cells shot into space from Biollante, entered into a black hole, exited through a white hole (which is apparently a real thing), and merged with crystals? It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, even relative to the existence of this franchise, but sure, why the hell not?

As always - the final bottle is an awesome spectacle. That’s one thing this franchise has done well even in movies that are otherwise whack. I well know that Godzilla movies are never wall-to-wall monster fighting, but sometimes the human elements are crappy enough that the rest of the movie doesn’t hold up and can’t be lifted by the hot kaiju action. This is one of them.

6. Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla (1994)
Oh, it’s fucking baby Godzilla. Can’t Ghidorah come back from the dead and just kill that little shit?

I am quite happy to see baby rainbow mothra projection and the twins again even thought they said that they'd be back to help when needed and clearly Mothra was needed and they only sent a warning to some humans which I'm not sure really helped all that much.

Space Godzilla kind of looks like one of the Gremlins once they’ve gone bad. Now I want to watch Gremlins again. This doesn’t make Godzilla a Mogwai, though someone with artistic skills should totally try to reverse engineer that.

The low angle shot of Godzilla stomping through the jungle was awesome and not something that we’ve seen before.

I can’t quite decide if this is a serious or campy Godzilla movie. Not helped by the existence of Baby Godzilla, which feels like it is in a completely different movie (and not a good one, but Baby Godzilla is the WORST).

I do appreciate the bullshit theory of how Space Godzilla was formed from Godzilla cells shot into space from Biollante (see my thoughts on the much better Biollante movie in just a bit), entered into a black hole, exited through a white hole (which is apparently a real thing), and merged with crystals? It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, even relative to the existence of this franchise, but sure, why the hell not?

As always - the final battle is an awesome spectacle. That’s one thing this franchise has done well even in movies that are otherwise whack. I well know that Godzilla movies are never wall-to-wall monster fighting, but sometimes the human elements are crappy enough that the rest of the movie doesn’t hold up and can’t be lifted by the hot kaiju action or really absurd explanations. This is one of them.

5. Godzilla vs Mothra (1992)
Godzilla vs Mothra opens with an Indiana Jones esque sequence and I think I want to watch *that* movie. Just a couple of folks who keep searching for random kaiju eggs.

Speaking of random kaiju eggs, Mothra is back! That's probably not a big surprise since the movie's title is Godzilla vs MOTHRA and all, but Mothra has taken a back seat from the franchise for a while and this is a lovely reintroduction complete with the singing twins (I love the singing twins). I also love the humans waving goodbye to Mothra at the end of the movie. So cute!

Added bonus - Dark Mothra! There's Battra, which is in a larval stage for far too long before it turns into a bat-thing kaiju. I don't know what the hell, but as an antagonist for Godzilla it's pretty great. Not buzzsaw in the chest great, but as a nastier version of Mothra great.

Like the 1964 Mothra vs Godzilla, this is much more of a Mothra movie where Godzilla shows up occasionally as an antagonist than it is a "Godzilla" movie, though that distinction is fairly fine. Also, granted that Godzilla is an antagonist for pretty much the entire Heisei era. No hero Godzilla here.

The effects in Godzilla vs Mothra are really quite bad and are a major reversion to the earlier Showa era effects budget and techniques. The only exception to that is the underwater fight scene - but that gets to the idea of using darkness for greater impact and covering up the flaws / things they can't do well yet.

It's fine for what it is, but the movie is the first real disappointment of the Heisei era. The film was so close to being more interesting than it turned out to be, but just missed. Mostly due to the effects.

4. Godzilla vs King Ghidorah (1991)
Time Travelers from the future come back to inform Japanese officials that their country will be in ruins if they don’t go back further back in time to eliminate Godzilla before it can become the monster we all know and fear.

This is Godzilla origin story that I didn’t know I wanted - it was just a dinosaur that somehow survived until the 1940’s (the species, I’m sure Godzilla itself isn’t seventy million years old, probably) and then was nuked into awesomeness. But - in the midst of eliminating Godzilla, this altered timeline inadvertently created King Ghidorah and now there’s a timeline where Ghidorah wrecks Tokyo with no Godzilla to stop him. Of course, this being a Godzilla movie Godzilla does return from non-existence to fuck some stuff up.

There is a point here where Godzilla vs King Ghidorah is pivoting from some of the storytelling decisions (and tone) of Godzilla vs Biollante. I read a review elsewhere that suggested that Godzilla vs King Ghidorah is as much of a Showa Era movie in its absurdity than it is a Heisei Era film. I somewhat disagree, because while the time travel aspect is relatively absurd, everything here is taken so much more seriously than the excesses of the Showa Era. It may be nuts to go back in time to destroy Godzilla and create King Ghidorah and then go back to to nuke Godzilla back into existence, but it’s played straight and it works right up until the climactic fight, which - I’ll admit - does feel like a more classic / Showa era battle. Oh, and the Time Travelers have become a comic version of the T-2000 (Terminator 2: Judgment Day) and it’s a bit of a jarring note to the rest of the movie that is, as noted, played fairly straight.

With that said, I did like that sort of slap fight right before Godzilla gets serious and takes King Ghidorah down - so I don’t mean any of that as a negative. Godzilla vs King Ghidorah is a movie partly out of time - somewhat unsure of what it wanted to be. It’s also pretty great. Bonus points for the post-Ghidorah destruction within the city and the lead in to making Ghidorah mecha. At every turn someone needs to upgrade one monster because the other monster is too bad ass - but then that monster needs to be defeated, so let's revive the defeated monster. It's great. Godzilla vs King Ghidorah is just extra.

3. Godzilla vs Biollante (1989)
Godzilla has never looked better, now 17 movies into the franchise and the second entry in the Heisei era, and the costume department has finally fixed my biggest problem - the eyes. Now Godzilla looks like a terrifying monster rather than a what the fuck are wrong with his eyes monster.

Godzilla vs Biollante features genetic engineering, where a sample of Godzilla's flesh after the final battle in The Return of Godzilla has allowed scientists to combine Godzilla's DNA with that of a rose mixed with human cells (don't ask). The results are amazing and naturally go very wrong.

The first fight with the giant rose was good, but then Biollante levels up late in the movie for reasons and THAT FIGHT IS AMAZING. Biollante is freaky as hell, shoots green goo, and reminds me of the Marlboro from the Final Fantasy video games (perhaps the one enemy you least want to fight). The second fight could have been a bit longer, to be honest, but what was there was great.

The whole idea of the giant plant monster reminds me of the smog monster in Hedorah, and that was one of my favorites of the Showa Era.

With that said, I appreciate the change in the Heisei Era of Godzilla to a more serious (giant plant monster notwithstanding) tone. It's working really well so far. Godzilla vs Biollante also has one of the better human stories thus far in the franchise.

2. The Return of Godzilla (1984)
Released 9 years after Terror of MechaGodzilla, The Return of Godzilla serves as a direct sequel to the 1954 original as well as a reboot of the franchise, ignoring the loose continuity of everything that has happened since in the franchise.

The Return of Godzilla is darker in tone and starts out more as a horror movie (and maintains some of that tone throughout)

Thinking about the original Godzilla, I love the use of darkness to reintroduce Godzilla. There's just so much menace when you can't see the monster clearly and it is a looming terror in the night. That was always one of the most effective uses of Godzilla and the other monsters in the Showa Era of the franchise. With that said, they do need to stop with the closeups of the face that do occur because that rubber suit still does not look great and the eyes are lost somewhere in the uncanny valley.

The plan to cause a volcanic eruption in the hopes of burying Godzilla is fantastic in its absurdity, but one of the touches I appreciated most was the conference at the UN with the United States and the USSR advocating heavily for the use of nuclear weapons. The Japanese ministers have serious discussion about what that would mean for the country for the citizens relative to the threat of Godzilla and demure, but the conversation about nuclear weapons is more pointed than it might have been coming from other countries. Of course, the two ambassadors were over the top aggressive clowns - which somehow makes a lot of sense.

The point, though, is that The Return of Godzilla - more than any other movie in the franchise (at least the first twenty two of them - gets to the core of what Godzilla is.

1. Godzilla vs Destoroyah (1995)
This Godzilla is going to fuck somebody up. As the movie opens, Godzilla looks pissed, looks like it is in pain, looks raw, and is laying waste to Hong Kong.

Godzilla vs Destoroyah is a bad ass movie. After the opening Godzilla attack it takes another 30-40 minutes before it shows up again and it doesn't matter. There is a traditional slow build to the action, but the mini destroyers cause enough havoc that Godzilla vs Destoroyah is tense the whole way through.

The movie has Japan grappling with nuclear threats again (see the previous entry) - from Godzilla potentially going supernova to Godzilla attacking a nuclear reactor and the fear of how to respond, it's good stuff.

Besides that - when Destoroyah merges into it's final form, it is an incredible badass kaiju. We love Mothra, and Ghidorah is probably Godzilla's greatest antagonist (smog monsters not withstanding), but for my money Destoroyah ranks right up among the best of them.

Godzilla vs Destoroyah also features a return of Godzilla Jr, which would normally be an occasion for the gnashing of teeth but Godzilla Jr is all grown up and is closer to a regular strength Godzilla - but the OG Godzilla here is a nuclear furnace hell beast of pain and rage.

The music late in the movie really sells that this was intended to be a farewell for Godzilla. It is epic and sweeping, occasionally nostalgic, and absolutely perfect. Spoilers, but it ends with Godzilla melting away as the furnace inside the kaiju finally overcomes the body.

Director Takao Okawara knows what he's about and has crafted the finest Godzilla movie since perhaps the original. Nothing else quite compares.



Joe Sherry - Co-editor of Nerds of a Feather, 5x Hugo Award Finalist for Best Fanzine. Minnesotan. He / Him

WE RANK 'EM: The Films of Godzilla's Showa Era

I’m not so mad as to attempt to rank *every* Godzilla film in one list (at least not today) because there are 37 of them (including the four American movies) and that is far more than I’m prepared to take on for a single article. Watching the most recent American versions got me interested in seeing where all of this started because it turns out that I was familiar with Godzilla as a concept but had never actually seen a Godzilla movie - excluding the 1998 Roland Emmerich directed and Matthew Broderick starring that I kind of want to rewatch again because I’m quite obviously damaged inside somehow.

I want to look at the 15 films made during the Showa era, which runs from Godzilla (1954) through Terror of MechaGodzilla (1975). The Showa Era gets its name from the reign of Japan’s Emperor Hirohito during which these movies were made, which I only note because otherwise you’ll probably be wondering why the Godzilla movies are divided into different eras and frankly it’s because there are gaps in between the eras and the chronology also tends to get reset. For example, with the exception of the fever dream of All Monsters Attack the other fourteen movies of the Showa Era are all set in the same chronology, not that it matters at all for your relative enjoyment of a particular movie.

Also worth noting, these are the movies currently available on HBO Max and the next 7 movies of Heisei are going to take just a little bit more work to watch. I think I have sources for most of the Heisei era flicks, but I’m going to run into the problem of finding the Japanese language versions rather than more easily accessible English dubs. It’s all well and good, but after the dubbed experience of Invasion of the Astro-Monster and Megalon I’d rather not touch a dubbed Godzilla movie ever again.

This isn’t a definitive ranking. I could have done just as well by grouping them into categories of appreciation because I really don’t want to choose between Mothra and Gigan or decide which of the bad movies is really worse than the other (though Son of Godzilla is the worst, that’s not up for as much of a debate as I’d give the other movies). This was just a fun project and a chance to dig into Godzilla’s history. I hope you enjoy the ride!

15. Son of Godzilla (1967)
This was really fucking stupid, let's just get that out of the way. This was their children's movie, or depending on what article you read - the "date movie" because young women like cute monsters or something. So, they gave Godzilla a son. Not sure where baby Godzilla came from because there's been no lady-zilla anywhere in the franchise thus far (or in the Showa era as a whole) so I'm assuming Godzilla asexually reproduced.

You know, there's a really bad move to be made about that story and I'm glad it hasn't been made. I can only assume Godzilla evolved with frog DNA and something something Jurassic Park something *magical hand waving.* It doesn't matter, but because I need to think about it, so did you. 

I'm avoiding talking about Son of Godzilla because it's just so bad. It's slapstick Godzilla with the worst rubber suit monster in the franchise (and possibly in all franchises anywhere) and I'd rather figure out out what to say about Ebirah than to think about the horror that is BabyZilla.

14. Ebirah, Horror of the Deep (1966)
This is the movie where Godzilla kicks rocks at a giant lobster and plays what is the world's worst game of catch. Now, this isn't a complaint about Ebirah being a giant lobster because Mothra is, well, a moth and most moths aren't actually frightening. Lobsters at least have pincers and giant lobsters have giant pincers.

Ebirah doesn't inspire quite the hatred that Son of Godzilla does for me. It's more that Ebirah was a dull, boring, and uninspired movie. Completely forgettable. Though, I hope some people enjoyed the movie because you're going to see some of this footage recycled again. That's right - as a cost savings measure throughout the years Toho would reuse some stock footage and some of it comes from the battles between Godzilla and Ebirah. That's too bad. There are far better movies to reuse footage from. This ain't it.

13. All Monsters Attack (1969)

I’m not going to go so far as to suggest All Monsters Attack was good, just like I’m not going to say that Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan was at all good (I have thoughts) - but it was weirdly more effective than expected given that has the fucking Son of Godzilla in the movie, and recycles footage from Ebirah, Son of Godzilla, Destroy All Monsters, and apparently King Kong Escapes.

All Monsters Attack isn't the fever dream Godzilla movie, that's Godzilla vs Hedorah. It is, however. a dream movie where nothing really counts as part of the series because All Monsters Attack is the dream of a child who tries to escape bullies and eventually gangsters and each time he does, he dreams of going to Monster Island and watching Son of Godzilla and really terrible monster shenanigans.

12. Invasion of Astro Monster (1968)

This isn't the only time I'll complain about dubbing, but the version I had available through HBO was the Japanese version dubbed in English and it's incredibly off putting. It was as if the actors were mocking the movie with their line readings because it's just a "dumb monster movie" and they didn't care or respect what they were making. Or maybe that was just how dubbing was in 1968, but that doesn't make it better. Invasion of Astro Monster wasn't high art by any means, but the dub really took away from the whole thing.

The final battle was great, though

11. Godzilla Raids Again (1956)
I don't want to be too bitchy at 65 year old special effects regarding the fight between Godzilla and Anguirus, but they did what they could. This is the second ever Godzilla movie and at least Godzilla was somewhat more mobile this time around.

Godzilla Raids Again is the second and last of the black and white Godzilla films, and it was interesting to see how they transitioned to color moving forward with King Kong vs Godzilla and beyond - the biggest difference was how the franchise's use of daylight in the monster fights. At their worst, that exposed the effects (to a modern viewer, anyway). Where Godzilla Raids Again is notable is that it establishes Godzilla as a franchise (even though it will be another seven years until the next movie) and it introduces other monsters for Godzilla to fight  (though Anguirus will later be a friend and Godzilla no longer a villain). It sets part of the template for the future. On its own, though, it pales in comparison to the first Godzilla and doesn't stand up well to the later movies.

I also read somewhere if the first Godzilla was a response to Hiroshima then this is a response to Nagasaki. I'm not sure if a) that's true or b) that idea comes across as clearly as Godzilla being a truly post-Hiroshima film does.

10. King Kong vs Godzilla (1962)
Never crash your submarine into Godzilla's iceberg. That's a life lesson and it's one that everyone should heed.

King Kong vs Godzilla is an action / adventure comedy and it's completely dumb. It's also kind of delightful and fun (though - the depiction of the islanders is pretty fucked up and that should not be overlooked).

This isn't a movie with anything to say, except "have fun with these giant monsters getting into a giant fight" and really, isn't that all we really want from a movie sometimes?

Also - props to that giant octopus. That thing was absolutely gross and I'm glad it was in the movie. It...oozes.

9. Godzilla vs Megalon (1973)
It’s not that I get unreasonably upset at having to watch a dubbed movie, but the dubbing in the English language Godzilla movies are just absolutely terrible. Maybe the actual acting is bad, too, I’m not sure because it’s being done in another language and I could be missing nuance - but it just feels false and it takes something away. The dubbing was better here than in Invasion of the Astro Monster but that’s an incredibly low bar to clear. Introduces Jet Jaguar, a humanoid robot hero thing and I think that was supposed to set up a franchise that never was.

For some of these older movies, though, I have to take what I can find - and in the case of HBO - that was a dubbed version. Please don't dub.

Anyway - Megalon is a giant beetle set to attack Earth because of the Seatopians (an underwater race of people sick of underwater nuclear testing) and it's a big delightful monster fight and Jet Jaguar is completely stupid but kind of great and that's really the thing with this movie and a number of other Godzilla - it's dumb and it's fun.

8. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla (1974)
The human part of the plot is a extra dumb (though still not as drugged out as Godzilla vs Hedorah), but I have to say that I kind of love the rainbow color blasts that Mechagodzilla shoots out of its eyes at Godzilla. Also, Godzilla turns himself into a super powered magnet and I don’t understand even a little bit but it looks like he’s using magic and yeah, I’m here for that. There’s also a new monster, King Ceasar, that gets summoned by song and ever since the introduction of Mothra (not included here), that’s always been something I like.

Oh! And the costume department at Toho has to have borrowed / stole from the 20th Century Fox team that worked on Planet of the Apes because the alien race disguised as humans turns into creatures that look nothing more than a green version of the apes and I can’t imagine that was a coincidence.

7. Terror of Mechagodzilla (1975)
There’s a lot of story here before we ever get to Godzilla.

I really like the climactic fight between Godzilla, Mechagodzilla and Titanosaurus. It was some of the best use of music and atmosphere since, frankly, the very first movie - which is all the more impressive because it’s a daytime fight and nighttime fights are just so much more effective in this franchise. Also, at one point Godzilla basically boxes at Titanosaurus and that’s pretty great. They just have to stop doing closeup shots because the rubber suit of it all does not do close ups very well.

Terror of Mechagodzilla is the final movie of the Showa Era of Godzilla, I don't think it was really intended to be the final movie of anything, it's just that the movie bombed at the box office and Toho needed to take a serious Godzilla break - but I don't because I still have six more movies to talk about!

6. Destroy All Monsters (1968)
First off, Godzilla Jr can go fuck off into the sun, that creature needs to go. It has absolutely no business being in this movie. That said, the rest of it is pretty great. All the monsters are taken over and controlled by human looking aliens and made to attack and destroy the rest of the world - but that leads into other ridiculousness when the Earth humans take back control and the alien humans get mad and bring in King Ghidorah to fight all the monsters and that turns into quite a brawl.

Anyway, I really dig the slap fight with everyone ganging up on Ghidorah at the end. That's a cool fight.

Also - Godzilla's eyes legit freak me out. I can't believe I haven't mentioned how wrong Godzilla's eyes are.

5. Mothra vs Godzilla (1964)
I really appreciate that the kaiju fights in these early Godzilla movies resemble how my six year old plays with toys and specifically the battles he and I have with his LEGO Ninjago sets with diving back and forth and waggling the toys at each other.

I don't *really* mean that as a criticism given the movie is almost sixty years old and we're talking about a giant moth fighting a giant dinosaur.

Early Godzilla has never looked better. Still a bit clumsy and awkward, but setting a standard for what Godzilla should look like in the daylight.

Mothra vs Godzilla takes the clash a quite bit more seriously than with the previous movie, King Kong vs Godzilla - but more than anything else this movie has heart. Kong was a monster the humans threw at Godzilla, but Mothra was asked to help and the people on her island are more like caretakers. Mothra is a beloved kaiju, rather than one to be truly feared.

4. Godzilla vs Gigan (1972)
Holy shit, y’all - Godzilla and Anguirius straight up have conversations with comic book speech bubbles. Frankly, that’s a feature that should have been used more. Shine spotlights on a kaiju, I want to see what the creature is saying when the light is in his eyes “Shit, that’s bright!” or “I’m Godzilla, bitches”. If you’re going to use the speech bubbles, go all the way with them.

One of the best things Godzilla vs Gigan did is make most of the monster action happen at night. The use of shadow and darkness really enhances the action and tension. The use of rubber suits is incredibly exposed in daylight scenes, which is fine when you want to highlight the camp.

Also, Gigan has a friggin circular saw on its chest and can really throw down when it gets up close. The rest of the Gigan design is pretty unimpressive, but that saw can do some damage.

Godzilla vs Gigan has a really great four way fight with Godzilla, Anguirius, Ghidorah, and Gigan - tag team action. That extended invasion and Godzilla’s response is pretty fantastic.

3. Godzilla vs Hedorah (1971)
Godzilla vs Hedorah opens with a catchy pop song about how the Earth was overpolluted and destroyed and honestly, what the fuck? It doesn’t help that there are scenes set in a dance club are a complete acid trip and other Austin Powers-esque musical dance-break interludes. Outside of that, this is the movie Ebirah Horror of the Deep wanted to be (or that I wanted it to be) - better Godzilla action and less hucking of rocks at a Water Monster.

I do appreciate that the ultimate theme here is Godzilla vs Pollution (really, it’s that people should stop fucking up this planet otherwise we’re going to have smog monsters from outer space and I think that’s a message we can all get behind). Despite the idea of a smog monster and the psychedelic dance breaks, this is a more serious Godzilla movie than the franchise has seen in a while. Also, Godzilla fucking flies while the score is playing a march, which is just about as wild as the series can possible can get.

2. Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster (1964)
I don't watch these movies for the planetary science, but I really like the idea that Venus was once advanced technologically beyond Earth but became what it is because of Ghidorah's attack. I don't even know what we knew of Venus in 1964 - but it's a cool idea.

There's a LOT going on in Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster - missing princesses, assassins, gangsters, monster alliances, Godzilla making a surprise face-turn. Also, a musical interlude singing to baby Mothra.

I also dig the effects that are clearly miniatures being destroyed. It's not that we expect Tokyo to get wrecked every time someone wants to make a Godzilla movie - but it still looks like my kid playing with his toys. It's still a delight in those fight sequences, to be fair. You just have to go with it. Godzilla throws and kicks rocks as part of his new fighting strategy.

This is the first time I've seen Rodan, the giant pterodactyl. And then baby Mothra just hoses them down with moth-silk to get Godzilla and Rodan to cool off. And then baby Mothra asks Godzill and Rodan to apologize to each other! Baby Mothra rides on Rodan's back! These movies are just wild.

But can someone explain where everyone is evacuating to? The Venus Princess Person has been saying Ghidorah is going to leave the planet a wasteland. Not many places to go, if that's the case. On the other hand, I do get the idea of running *somewhere* because it feels like you're doing something.

This movie is a treat.

1. Godzilla (1954)
Yo! This is straight up a good movie, which I'm not sure I completely expected as I began this journey into the Godzilla franchise with no real idea of what I was getting myself into. It's a post World War II movie for Japan and everything that entails after the United States dropped two atomic bombs on the country, especially if you don't watch the version that has Americans added in for "relatability" or whatever bullshit reason they used at the time.

The effects are reasonably good for the time, but the story is just outstanding. On the one hand, it's about a giant dinosaur ravaging Tokyo. On the other, it features Japanese scientists building a super weapon to stop Godzilla but fearing that it's use will mean a world where these super weapons are common. Godzilla the film is about the terror of a horrific attack.

Hat tip to the music during a particular Godzilla attack sequence 2/3 through the movie. The use of darkness during the later attacks makes everything far scarier than if it was a daylight scene. Good stuff. This is the most effective and frightening use of Godzilla during the entire Showa era. I can't speak for the later movies, but something about the simplicity and using darkness to cover for limited effects makes the whole movie so great.



Joe Sherry - Co-editor of Nerds of a Feather, 5x Hugo Award Finalist for Best Fanzine. Minnesotan. He / Him

We Rank 'Em: New (Retro) Adventure Games!

Since the first time I played King's Quest at a friend's house, I've been in love with adventure games - or "point and click" games as they'd come to be known once every computer came with a mouse. Adventure games are puzzle based, in most cases featuring little to no twitch action. They also emphasize character and story - hence their appeal to this here book nerd.

The best iterations of the style feature challenging but intuitive puzzles, immersive and atmospheric worlds, relatable characters and gripping narrative arcs. Unfortunately, many of the '80s and '90s classics used cheap and unforgiving puzzle design to paper over the fact that they were very short and simple games. Plus if you wanted to know how to proceed, you'd need to call the handy - and expensive - hint line provided in the manual.

The style fell by the wayside with the emergence of 3D rendering and the more immediate thrills provided by FPS and RTS games in the late 1990s. But now, thanks to Steam, GOG, mobile gaming platforms and our seemingly unquenchable thirst for all things retro, adventure games are back!

Here are a few of the best new adventure games on the market:


6. Thimbleweek Park by Terrible Toybox (2017)

Do you like weird what is even real anymore mysteries like Twin Peaks or Wayward Pines? How about the LucasArts model for point-and-click games? If the answer is yes to both, then I'm guessing you'll dig this Twin Peaks-inspired entry by the creators of Secret of Monkey Island and Maniac Mansion. It also happens to be very good. Oh, and play it on Hard - it's not an authentic retro experience if the puzzles don't feel cheap at times. Steam | GOG.

5. Stasis by The Brotherhood (2015)

Unlike most of the entries on this list, Stasis is not an homage to the glory days of Sierra and LucasArts. It's more like a puzzle-based take on Dead Space, where you wander around a spaceship trying to make sense of what happened and not get killed by scary-ass shit. Atmospheric and gripping, Stasis features absolutely gorgeous environments, solid gameplay and intuitive puzzles. Steam | GOG.

4. Oxenfree by Night School Studio (2016)

Oxenfree is arguably the most stylish and high concept adventure game ever made. It centers on a group of teens in a weird Pacific Northwest town notable for its supernatural and just plain weird activity. Sound familiar? That's because this one also falls into the what is even real anymore category of game fiction. But it's not a retro game the way Thimbleweed Park is. Rather, like Stasis, Oxenfree represents a wholly modern take on this retro genre. Featuring gorgeous graphics, memorable characters and inventive gameplay mechanisms, Oxenfree stands apart from the pack. But it does fall short in a few areas - the dialogue can be quite tedious at times, and the game feels too short for another. It's still great, though, and well worth your time. Steam | GOG.

3. Whispers of a Machine by Clifftop Games (2019)

My two favorite literary genres are science fiction and crime noir. Whispers of a Machine has the honor of being both (full review here). The game takes place in a future Sweden, where anything remotely close to AI (including computers) has been banned. You don't know exactly what happened, only that it was bad - this serving as metaphor for a fairly sophisticated meditation on our relationship to machines. The game also features smart, Sierra-esque graphics and some cool gameplay innovations, courtesy of protagonist Vera's cybernetic augmentations. Oh, and there are multiple endings - each of which you'll want to experience. The downside? There are other games that do all this better, like...  Steam | GOG.

2. Primordia by Wadjet Eye Games

It's no understatement to say that Wadjet Eye Games rule the roost of new (retro) adventure gaming, and Primordia encapsulates exactly why that is. The game takes place in a post-apocalyptic junkyard; its protagonist, Horatio Nullbuilt, lives peacefully with his robot Crispin until his power core is stolen. Their quest to get it back serves as a vehicle for exploring what happened to the humans who once populated the dead world. Primordia features a deeply compelling narrative, great characters, beautifully rendered retro graphics and a haunting atmosphere. And the puzzles are highly intuitive - no cheapness here. All in all it's an extraordinary adventure game, one highly recommended for fans of the genre. It's melancholic tone will give you the feels for sure. Steam | GOG.

1. Gemeni Rue by Wadjet Eye Games

Like Whispers of a Machine, Gemini Rue is also a cross between science fiction and noir, but in this case, features alternating hard SF and SF-tinged neo-noir narratives. These come together brilliantly at the end, but not before presenting gamers with one of the most seamless, artful and pleasing puzzle-based adventures ever made. Gemini Rue is a near-perfect example of what the genre has to offer, simultaneously paying homage to and surpassing the Sierra and LucasArts classics. I can't recommend this one enough - it may be the most gratifying adventure game I've ever played. Steam | GOG.

WE RANK 'EM: Robot Pals in Recent SFF

Many words have been expended through the years on the distinction between science fiction and fantasy, with a recent iteration of the conversation bringing a few great (and a lot of awful) contributions to the table. In partial honour of sci fi month, I'd like to throw my hat into the ring at this super late stage, with a simple yet irrefutable assertion that I think will bring all sides together in these troubled sides:

Is science fiction really science fiction unless someone becomes friends with a robot?

Well, uh, yes, you say. Absolutely. Look at near future SF, and hard science fiction novels like The Expanse, and space operas which focus on cool aliens instead of cool robots, and, and, so many other things! Surely, Adri, you are not disputing the credentials of all this stuff? It's obviously science fiction!

To which, I can only offer the following response, in the almighty words of Thor:

Now that this is settled to our collective satisfaction, all that remains it to celebrate some of the best artificial intelligences in recent media, and particularly those whose relationships with humans. Of course, this isn't supposed to be an exhaustive list - Paladin from Autonomous, Lovelace from The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet, Singer from Ancestral Night, Justice of Toren and many more are are of course all worthy of canonisation in the annals of robot pal-dom. But, at the end of the day, I've got to write about the things that won't take more research to write than I have time for, and then stand by my practically-motivated opinions until the heat death of the universe.

6. Robot (Gunnerkrigg Court). The robots of Tom Siddell's long-running science fiction and fantasy webcomic are deeply embedded in the dense and mysterious history of the titular court, an institution founded to impose scientific principles on various forms of magic and opposed by the neighbouring forest. Robot, a character who has been in the comic since its first days, has come a very long way since then, both in design and in its relationship with comic protagonists Annie and Kat, and with its buddy Shadow, a two-dimensional forest creature who has also been transformed during its time in the court. Although its overall motives are not always entirely clear, making it the lowest ranked in this list, its support to its community and willingness to go to great personal lengths to protect and further their agendas makes it a clear contender in this list, and the only one, as of recent chapters, that is likely to give you an actual smile.

5. Emily the Robot (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Seasons 1-4). Entrapta's robot pals in She-ra are pretty interchangeable from an audience standpoint, serving as less complicated surrogates for human friendship and occasional creators of tiny food (at least in the weird events of Season 3). Emily, the reprogrammed Horde robot who indirectly brings about her split from the Princess Alliance at the end of season 1, is a different story. Through her interactions with Entrapta and the wider cast, it becomes clear that Emily is more than just another piece of autonomous spherical weaponry, like the rest of the horde robots, but an active party to teaching those around her about friendship and self-worth, and her contributions to Season 4 in particular are simultaneously heartwarming and heartbreaking.

4. Servitor Hemiola (Raven Stratagem and "Glass Cannon", Yoon Ha Lee). Kel Cheris' relationship with the servitors in the Machineries of Empire series is one of its hidden treasures - a narrative device that provides rare moments of quiet and humanity in a series that is otherwise jammed with a lot of militaristic misery, as well as being an important angle to Cheris' character in general. In Raven Stratagem, the third book in the trilogy, we finally get see Cheris and the society of the servitors themselves through their own eyes, and specifically the character of Hemiola, who goes from being a criminally underutilised servitor on a secret Nirai base, unable to get downloads of its favourite TV shows, to a confidante and collaborator and all around fun smol robot badass. Bonus points for a name which is one of my favourite things in music (fitting three beats into a count of two, used to great effect in the Myanmar national anthem among other places), and which was canonically Hemiola's weird choice compared to the majority of servitors who name themselves after maths terms.

3. BB-8 (Star Wars Episodes VII-IX). Obviously there's a lot of different potential robot pals to choose from in Star Wars, but representing them all on this list is the spherical prince of the new trilogy. BB-8 is: sassy, inexplicably good at breaking the laws of physics, not here for your shit, will cover for you when you pretend to be part of the resistance to impress a girl but not without making clear exactly how much the favour will cost you further down the line, does not have a gambling problem, is not about to get upstaged by any sort of weird cutesy bird thingos, and would cross the entire desert for your rebellion and, specifically, for Poe Dameron. Sure, R2-D2 might have been the prototype snark cylinder, and Chopper from the Rebels show deserves credit too, but BB-8 adds to the repertoire with a surprisingly versatile range of gadgetry and also by being indisputably the cutest droid in Star Wars canon. 

2. Murderbot (The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells) Murderbot would be extremely annoyed with me if it knew that I'd included it in a list of robots building meaningful relationships with humans, let alone having it so high up. Because, as we all know, Murderbot does not love you; it just wants to watch its shows. Murderbot is not interested in the difficult, messy nonsense of humans, beyond making sure they are all kept alive and don't do anything stupid that jeapordises its mission. Also, if your name is Dr Mensah and you start to treat it like a person and learn what it's like to have someone else to collaborate with for the first time, then Murderbot might secretly get quite invested in your existence. Same for Asshole Research Transports, and stupid friendly robots that offer you friendship without even knowing how stupid that is, and, well, OK, maybe also if you're part of Mensah's family, then it is possible that Murderbot might not hate you too. In seriousness, Murderbot's journey of self-discovery and the way it balances its fledgling autonomy and expertise with social anxiety in order to pursue its goals in a busy and kind of awful galaxy is a pure delight.

1. CheshireCat/the Cat Pictures AI ("Cat Pictures Please" and Catfishing on CatNet by Naomi Kritzer) The epitome of a robot pal just trying to do their best, the AI of CatNet has dedicated its existence to figuring out what makes humans tick and trying to get them to make better choices for themselves, while asking for nothing but access to internet animal pictures in return. CheshireCat's full length novel appearance in Catfishing on CatNet lets us see the AI in a slightly different situation to its original secret helper guise in "Cat Pictures Please". Instead, it's forming two-way relationships with the humans who come into its chatroom and particularly bonding with a group of teenagers who continue to look out for it (and each other) once discovering the true identity of their friend. Although CheshireCat's ability to influence the real world is limited to bizarre drone behaviours and USB-induced takeovers of sex education robots, its online exploits and powers more than make up for that, and its helpfulness makes it the most valuable robot pal on this list.

POSTED BY: Adri is a semi-aquatic migratory mammal most often found in the UK. She has many opinions about SFF books, and is also partial to gaming, baking, interacting with dogs, and Asian-style karaoke. Find her on Twitter at @adrijjy.

WE RANK 'EM: Villagers from Untitled Goose Game (House House)

If you've been following the internet at all recently, it will have been hard to escape the meteoric rise of a certain set of memes and crossovers, involving a flatly rendered goose staring dead-eyed out at the viewer, ready to cause problems on purpose. This is, of course, the doing of Untitled Goose Game, the low-stakes sadism simulator in which you take the role of a horrible goose terrorising the residents of an otherwise idyllic English village. Its a game that delivers exactly what it promises in a deeply satisfying way, and which very much deserves the place in cultural consciousness which it is noisily honking its way into.

Having sunk a significant amount of time into the goose uprising - learning the ways of the village, its routines, and what happens to all the items I've been throwing down the well - I have decided, rather than undertaking a review, to resurrect a hallowed Nerds of a Feather institution: the We Rank 'Em post. I now bring my extensive goose game expertise to bear on the objective ranking of the villagers of goose game, from my omniscient perspective as the objective arbiter of their destinies. This ranking has been cross checked using the most advanced scientific principles available to game character analysts today, and was also compiled while I was hungry and therefore very motivated to put down the most straightforward, no-nonsense reasoning I could so as to get on with the more important business of reheating leftover noodles and maybe making a mug cake. With these factors in mind, I present to you: the definitive ranking of untitled goose game villagers.

Honourable mention/God Tier: The Ladies at the Pub

Alone among the villagers of Untitled Goose Game, this pair of endlessly chatting ladies resist any sort of inconveniencing over my horrible goose antics - indeed, they seem more charmed than anything about my ability to honk and flap on command (all for the purpose of flower thievery, of course). Why? I feel there is some deep, complex relationship here; a hard-won truce or pact, perhaps, which the franchise has barely begun to scratch the surface of. I sincerely hope this is something that gets explored via the inevitable proliferation of Untitled Goose fanfiction. For now, the ladies must remain the most enigmatic of the Goose Game's human cast, and must sit outside the powers of ranking in a God Tier category all of their own.

6: The Publican and her Husband

Look, I do a rail commute across London most weekdays, and I get quite enough unwanted jostling from that real life adventure - so this pair of uptight small business owners, with their constant desire to bodily force me out of their space, don't endear themselves to me. Plus, they're landlords, meaning they are clearly even more opposed than the rest of the village to my anarchist anti-property agenda, and it shows - they'd rather have me smash all their pint glasses on the floor rather than accept the impermanent nature of possession and the inevitability of me stealing them all and making everyone drink beer straight from the barrel. The fact that they have spent some of their ill-gotten capitalist gains on creating an actual printed metal "no geese allowed" sign for their property, rather than the endearingly ineffective handmade signs of the rest of the village, cements their place at the very bottom of the village index (aside from the other people I haven't even bothered to rank).

5: The Shopkeeper

Like the Publicans, the Shopkeeper's excessive capitalist agenda and overzealous enforcement of her right to exclusive use of shop land are traits that get tiring quickly, and which regularly interfere with the activities of me, a goose, just trying to go about my totally normal daily activities. She does get some extra points however, for her calculated indifference to the suffering of the kid wandering around outside her stall due to his recurring goose troubles (more on those later), and for her penchant for profiting off the items I bring to her stall by making their "owners" spend money on them. Her support to the goose agenda may just be an unwitting side effect of her own personal awfulness, but at least it does sometimes work in my goosely favour. The Shopkeeper is also the villager most likely to actually be called Karen.

4: The Tidy Neighbour

The Tidy Neighbour likes cricket, and tea, and his newspaper, and does not like having anything in his garden unless he has carefully curated it to match one of those three interests. Everything else - even the items which I might carefully present to try and further one of those interests, like a delightful lightly-used thermos - gets tossed over the fence without any regard for my effort in bringing it to him. Yes, sometimes this is useful, like when I want to fill up the house two doors down with garden implements and then watch them all get thrown out the front door in a giant wood-and-metal tangle. But often it hurts my delicate goose feelings. when I go to such great lengths to bring him delicacies from across the village which just get thoughtlessly wanged onto the messy neighbour's  patio. Other than this relentless thoughtlessness, there is not much to say about the tidy neighbour. He's boring. His pond is boring. His garden is boring. Yawn. Next.

3. The Wimpy Kid

Is this the only child in the village? Is he reduced to weakly kicking around a football by himself on the tarmac because there's nobody else to play with him, or is there some super fun adventure playground in another part of the village that our poor weedy boy has been kicked out from? Either way, the Wimp presents the most sadistic avenues for goose mischief, which generally take the form of making him run into things, stealing his glasses and forcing him to follow the sound of pattering goose feet across the village in the vain hope of retrieving them, and untying his shoelaces then honking until he trips in a puddle. If the pub ladies are characters indicative of a deep, barely explored backstory to Goose Game's relationships, the Wimpy Kid is the character on whom the sequel potential clearly rests: an endlessly tormented child, falling for the same tricks ad nauseum, whose future disposition is inevitably going to be shaped by my actions in this game. Until he reaches that potential, however, wimpy kid must sit in the middle of these rankings.

2 The Gardener

Bring people gifts to unlock human/goose romance options

As my sole interlocutor for the first part of the game, I feel a special affinity for the gardener and the rivalry we play out through our different conceptions of what his garden should look like. He thinks the trowel should live on the chair; I think it should live in the pond. He insists the carrots should go in the basket; I think they should live in the pond. He thinks the radio is best left on the cooler; I think... well, you get the idea. His willingness to chase me into said pond for some items and not others (like his special hat) makes me feel like there's a deep, thoughtful full of quirks here that in another game, I might consider getting to know better. If Goose Game were made by Bioware, the Gardener would be the default heterosexual female romance option, complete with a tragically dead previous flame, who I'd roll my eyes at and tell myself I wasn't going near but then accidentally get invested in on my first playthrough anyway. Tell me about your charming, safe feelings, Gardener! I promise they are not wasted on this, uh, goose!

1. The Messy Neighbour

We come now, at the pinnacle of this ranking, to an uncomfortable truth: when we see the goose game for what it is, we must inevitably contend with the fact that, were we to be transported to its world, we would not identify with the agenda with the loathsome get awe-inspiring goose, but with the ordinary residents who rail, however ineffectively, against the transportation of their worldly possessions to a rubbish island near the village green. There comes a point at which we must search ourselves for some modicum of empathy towards these hidebound cretins, lest we fail to recognise the mirror they hold to our own selves. In doing so, it becomes clear who the unsung hero of the Goose Game's villagers truly is: the woman who has filled her garden with weird statues, entertaining windmills, a bath full of flowers that for some reason still has soap on it, and other non-conformist delights. Of course, what truly sets Messy apart from her peers is her subtle yet unmistakable assimilation into the Goose agenda. For one thing, she'll let me build a pile full of things her neighbour has thrown over the fence into her garden, and even dress up one of her statues in the detritus I bring her. She also shares my love of spying on her fellow villagers for maximum mischief, though her options are limited in this regard. Sealing the deal, and her place at the top of the list, is the giant garden bell. Never change, Messy Neighbour: the village resident we should all aspire to be.

Honk

POSTED BY: Adri is a semi-aquatic migratory mammal most often found in the UK. She has many opinions about SFF books, and is also partial to gaming, baking, interacting with dogs, and Asian-style karaoke. She is, as this post might suggest, better with animals than people. Find her on Twitter at @adrijjy.

Stormtrooper Armor, Ranked

There are many fearsome aspects of the Empire in Star Wars: Their dedication to planet-destroying superweapons, their wrinkled leader who shoots lightning or the guy in futuristic samurai armor. But none of these holds a candle to that sheer unstoppable force that is the Imperial Marketing Department. They know good and well that the best thing for the Empire is getting more Stormtroopers, and selling Stormtrooper toys, and to that end, there are endless armor variants. There will be EVEN MORE in The Last Jedi! But which is the best?! Let's rank 'em (quick note: I am including the Republic Clone Troopers and First Order under the blanket of 'Empire'):

Magma
Did you know Magma Troopers were a thing? Yeah, me either. Should have gone the amusingly-ironic weapons route and given them a freeze gun or something. All they get is desert trooper armor with a breathing filter, which they should have already. This is triple-redundant armor.

you can't just do this

Space
There is literally no discernible difference between this and a regular Stormtrooper. Make it look spacey, Imperial Marketing Department! Scheech.

Are there actions figures? OF COURSE THERE ARE ACTION FIGURES

Storm (FO)
Pretty cool, and a good update to the look, except it looks like the back of that car. You know the one.

Snow (FO)
A meh update to the Empire's version. At least it doesn't look like a car trunk.

also: REALLY hard to see out of

Sandtrooper (OT)
Major point deduction for how redundant this is. You have a cooling backpack, or whatever? Good for you. It looks exactly the same. A little bit back because the old-school action figure came with the big gun and I played with it a ton. Personal nostalgia aside, this is about as lame as it gets.

cleaning this armor is a PAIN

TIE Pilot (OT)
I try to keep my own personal bias out of this, but holy crap, I love me some TIE Pilots. A) They fly TIE fighters, B) Shiny black armor, C) other things probably, I guess, they are awesome. What's with the doofy chest thing, though? It kills the whole look.

awesome in close up though

Shore
I'm sort of torn on this one, because there are plenty of environment-specific armors on this list, but at least this one doesn't just look like regular Stormtrooper armor with camo or whatever. So, points for looking cool and at least trying. Good for you, Shoretrooper.

Flametrooper
It is a stormtrooper. With a flamethrower. I'm not sure it needs a distinction, but I am not the one holding a flamethrower.

TIE Pilot (FO)
Thank you for fixing the doofy chest thing. The red stripe is, like, a million bad-ass points.

you wish you looked this good

Scout
The visor looks super sweet, but what purpose does it serve? They get to ride around on speeder bikes and shoot sniper rifles, but that visor just seems impractical. Call it a wash.

you REALLY wish you looked this good

Clone
The original, and the best. I mean, it's not the original in the real world, but it is in the Star Wars universe. In any case, it's fantastic. The basic troopers are simple and clean, and their variants and specialists have colorful differences. Major style points for the officers (and even rank and file troops) decorating their armor with personal touches. But they're clones, so how personal can it be?

also Fives is the best

Snow (OT)
This is probably the best environment-specific variant. It looks different, and seems practical. And the robe-y (it's a technical term) look adds a air of mystery and intimidation.

Storm (OT)
What is there even to say? It's classic, it's a clean look, and looks so good, you forget they can't hit the broad side of a space-barn.

Death
These guys are everything cool about TIE Pilots (BLACK!) and Stormtroopers rolled into one. Plus they have Death right there in the name! You don't get more bad-ass than that unless you are Darth-freakin-Vader himself. Every kid in the galaxy wants to be a Deathtrooper and you know it. If the Empire had drafted Jyn into the Deathtrooper ranks, she would have shot her mom herself.

join now!