Star Wars Subjectivities: Revenge of the Sith

It is a truth universally acknowledged that most people don't love the Star Wars prequels.

The exception to this, of course, is Revenge of the Sith.

Or so the common discourse runs. I actually disagree with it — all of the prequels are absolutely beloved, especially by the younger millennials who were raised with them. These movies are their Star Wars, not unlike how the sequel trilogy is the Star Wars for people born in the early 2000s. 

But yes, Revenge of the Sith is exceptionally good. And in this essay, I'll try to convince you of it too, based on my love for it.

I saw ROTS when I was 21 and in my last year of college. I took my girlfriend at the time who had never seen a single Star War. And while I remember her being essentially confused and bemused the entire time, she overall enjoyed it. I loved it, though it would take a few years before it would cement as one of my Star Wars favorites.

I’ve chosen for this essay not to go back and rewatch it, instead will parse my memory for the things that are hardwired in there. As a caveat, I’ve seen it probably 50 times — far less than the number of rewatches of the original trilogy, but still insanely more many times than the average human. 

A Love Reignited by a Subreddit

And honestly what sparked my love of the prequels is the r/PrequelMemes subreddit. I had seen the movies on opening day, as any loyal Star Wars fan is contractually obligated to do, and occasionally rewatched them on cable when they popped up on TV while I was in law school. 

Following and engaging with the subreddit (which as of September 2023 has 2.6+ million members!) taught me to appreciate the subtleties of the prequels, and to mold and re-mold jokes and observations using the raw text of Star Wars. Who among us (in America, at least) hasn’t quoted “So this is liberty dies — to thunderous applause” when watching election night results?

After laughing and participating in the absurd r/PrequelMemes, I found myself wanting to go back and rewatch the movies — a desire to sort of mine for primary sources, to find more fodder for silly Star Wars memes. Is the dialogue wooden? Yes, of course it is. Is the CGI ridiculous? Obviously. 

Truth in Memes

But somewhere along the way, I fell in love. Because I love lists, I’d like to frame why I love Revenge of the Sith in 5 memes — but they’ll be absolutely earnest.

1. Have you ever heard of Darth Plagueis the Wise?

I have spent the better part of 2 decades trying to understand all of the prequels’ plot minutiae. I mostly have it down pat. Shiv Palpatine is a Sith lord who masterminds a clone war rise to power as Emperor. I get that, but I have more questions. He discovers Anakin as a boy and eventually grooms him to become his dark apprentice over the course of a decade.

Was that part of the plan or just a happy accident? How could he have known how attached he’d grow to Padme? Etc. Etc. 

Someone more well-versed in the lore may know those answers, but at the end of the day, they’re not terribly important.

What is important is that Anakin is expertly manipulated by Palpatine and this scene, which takes place at a space ballet called Squid Lake, is what seals the deal for Anakin’s fate. He states his obsessive and all-consuming fear of losing Padme, and good old Shiv feeds him the line he needs to hear — I can teach you to transcend death, all you have to do is turn to the dark side. 

Watching Anakin fall is an important part of the entire Star Wars story because it gives context to the monster he becomes. In the original trilogy, Darth Vader is a baddie, full stop. When you watch A New Hope, you’re not even sure he’s a man — he may be a robot! 

Instead, we watch a 22-year-old man with complex trauma sell his soul to an abuser for the promise of helping save his wife’s life. Poor Anakin.

2. This is where the fun begins

In A New Hope, Obi-Wan tells Luke his father was the greatest pilot in the galaxy. In the opening scene of ROTS, which is among one of the coolest depictions of a space battle in the entire series, we see Anakin in his element. 

It’s maybe the last time we see him happy in the movie — hell, even in the two other prequels he doesn’t get a ton of positive moments. He’s good at his job, he works with his best friend, and Anakin is just plain having fun. 

I like how this opening scene shows the life Anakin could have lived had everything not happened. A Jedi out gallivanting and saving lives, secretly in love with a hot senator, and just vibing. 

3. Hello there

Ewan McGregor’s performance as the young Obi-Wan Kenobi is one of the strongest through-currents running through all of the prequels, but his performance in Revenge of the Sith is absolutely divine. 

The movie is about Anakin, that is undeniable. But how Obi-Wan reacts in slow-motion to Anakin’s downfall is what sells it. 

The “Hello there!” scene is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it bit of comic relief — a wink to Alec Guinness “Hello there” to Luke in A New Hope.

Watching him put on his best Alec Guinness impersonation for three movies is an utter delight, but by ROTS McGregor has crafted Obi-Wan into his own thing, and it’s handsome and charming and kind and haughty all rolled into one. 

4. I am the Senate

One of the cool things about ROTS is how you cannot divorce it from the tenor of the times in which it was filmed. In 2005, at the height of the Iraq War on G.W. Bush’s tenure as president in the U.S., George Lucas had some thoughts, it’s pretty clear, and you can read so much into this movie. Unwanted wars, abuses of power, the jingoistic nationalism, the distrust of intellectualism — it’s all laid out against the backdrop of a failing space democracy. 

5. Nooooooooo

Is this a silly scene? Absolutely. 

Do I think it’s crucial to the story of Darth Vader? Also yes. 

Over the course of ROTS, We witness all of the horrible things that Anakin does that destroy his soul — the slaughter, the betrayal, the blind rage. 

But one of the ways we know that he’s never truly 100% gone is in this deeply funny scene in which he shouts into the ether fresh off the slab like Frankenstein's monster.

How do we know that he's not entirely gone?

Because his NOOOOOO shows he hasn’t gone willingly to his fate. A truly evil person would take their rage and distill it, discarding all aspects of their former life and dreams and eager to do Palp's dirty work.

Instead, we still see Anakin for a brief moment, only now trapped in a cloak of iron and bidden to the will of Palpatine. We saw this in his dejected kneeling after he finished murdering Jedi — ”Just help me save Padme's life.” 

He hates it. He can see it's wrong. But he knows he has ruined everything, killed everyone. And there’s nothing left. 

Over the next 20 years, I believe Darth Vader runs of 98% utter dejection, 1% rage, and 1% pure Anakin at heart, which is how he ultimately gets redeemed.  

POSTED BY: Haley Zapal, NoaF contributor and lawyer-turned-copywriter living in Atlanta, Georgia. A co-host of Hugo Award-winning podcast Hugo, Girl!, she posts on Instagram as @cestlahaley. She loves nautical fiction, Vidalia onions, and growing corn and giving them pun names like Anacorn Skywalker. 

Recap — Ahsoka Episode 8: The Jedi, The Witch, and The Warlord

The season finale is a blast to watch, but where do we go from here?

We open on a special day — Morgan Elsbeth's promotion! The Great Mothers thank her, she who heard their dreams from across the stars. They give her the gift of shadows as recompense, and in a very a cool scene, physically and spiritually transform her with some witchy face markings, much like their own. The Great Mothers conjure up the Blade of Talzin, which is kinda like a witchy lightsaber., and gift it to her.

It was easy as the beginning of the season to think of Elsbeth as a generic baddie, but the more we've seen, the more we've learned that she's in this for the girls. The Nightsisters, that is, and her home planet and culture of Dathomir. She doesn't care about Thrawn, or the Empire, or whatever the hell Baylan is looking for. For the bad guys, everyone is using everyone else in this show. Perhaps that's the banal, transactional nature of evil. It contrasts mightily with the themes of love, devotion, and friendship found with the good guys.

Rebels Back Together 

Ezra is on Ahsoka's ship with Huyang in the workshop, constructing a new lightsaber. They're playfully squabbling, and then Ezra tells him that his master was none other than Kanan Jarrus. Huyang, being the ancient robot that he is, tells Ezra that he knew him back at the Jedi Temple decades before. In fact, Huyang has been holding on to a lightsaber bit that Kanan also used. Cute!!!

Ahsoka is back up top on her ship, her favorite place these days, and Sabine joins her for a heart to heart. She apologizes to her master for not destroying the map, expecting the worst. But our new Ahsoka the White is gracious, and explains how Anakin always stood by her, no matter what. Ahsoka reaffirms her commitment to Sabine for the long haul. It's a touching scene, this unconditional love. 

Their peaceful chat is interrupted by a duo of Thrawn's TIE fighters, who strafe the ship and force it to crash clunkily on Peridia, their plans now definitely delayed. 

Thrawn Is NOT Playing

Because he knows that Anakin was Ahsoka's master, and because he knows how dangerous Ezra is from ahem, personal experience, Thrawn prepares for a ground assault, willing to take no chances with these errant Jedi. Enoch reports that the two TIE fighters accomplished their mission, but lost contact with them. Thrawn recognizes the sacrifice the pilots made, and what could be seen as a throwaway line, says "Mark their captain for a citation." 

This. This is why his troops love him. Hell, this is why I love Thrawn. He's a fair and just leader, and it's no wonder people follow him to the ends of the galaxy. Sure, he's cold, calculating, and stoic. But he knows how to treat people, something you can't ever say about any other member of the Empire. He's humble, too. When Elsbeth says that the volunteer Night Troopers are doing it for him, he says nope, it's for the Empire. 

Storming the Castle

Our Jedi hop on some of the native horse-wolves and make their way to Thrawn. He rains hellfire down upon them with the Star Destroyer's turbolasers, but to no use. They make their way through the gate and start climbing the tower to be met with a sea of storm troopers. 

And here we learn finally Thrawn's great plan. These are no ordinary troops — they're night troopers. Once they fall on the battlefield, the Great Mothers' dark magic reanimates them. They shamble. They groan. And they definitely don't stop.  

That's right. Dave Filoni has blessed us with zombie storm troopers. And in the scene of them being raised from the dead, we get treated with creepy Beetlejuice-sounding atonal string music. It's perfect. 

Witch vs Jedi

Thrawn dispatches Elsbeth to delay the Jedi, and she follows orders. She meets Ahsoka and they engage in maybe the coolest duel of the season. The Sword of Talzin has a satisfying metallic echo-thunk when it makes contact with a light saber. 

Also, I don't know about y'all, but I had no idea Elsbeth could ball so hard. I don't know if it's the new witchy powers or what, but the fight choreo was so incredibly entertaining. Also hell yeah to this episode for showing us another duel between two 40+ year old women!

Sabine and Ezra separate to go after Thrawn's ship, but they get separated as only Ezra can make the 100 foot jump to the destroyer. Sabine stays behind, and goes to help Ahsoka. 

After a few more moments of fantastic dueling, Ahsoka manages to wrest Elsbeth's sword from her and kills her with it. Such a shame to see her go! 

Thrawn Yeets Himself Out of the Galaxy

Despite our heroes' best efforts, Thrawn uses the Eye of Sion to escape back to the galaxy he belongs in. Ezra is a stowaway, however, and manages to disguise himself as a storm trooper. 

Before jumping to hyperspace, Thrawn reaches Ahsoka on comms and congratulates on her a good try. Then, in an incredibly bitchy move, says 'one wonders how similar" she may grow to Anakin, implying she may turn evil. How does he do it?!!? Thrawn knows exactly how to twist the knife. Fortunately, our girl has done force ghost therapy, so she knows that he's just being spiteful. 

Ahsoka and Sabine return to the surface of Peridia after a space chase in vain, and reunite with the Noti. They're going to be here a while, and it looks like this may a perfect time for them to just train. Could be worse, I suppose. 

Master and Apprentice, Separated 

In the last bit, we finally see Shin, briefly. She's been wandering Peridia, unsure of where to go or what to do. She approaches a bandit camp and raises her lightsaber, though it's unclear whether in attack or as a gesture of wanting to join. That's all we get, though, so we'll have to find out next season!

Next we see Baylan, standing on a huge cliff shape not unlike the Argonath from Lord of the Rings. I had to do some research, but what's he standing on is a statue of the Father, a character from Star Wars: The Clone Wars season 3. The father dwelled in the realm of Mortis along with his kids the Son and the Daughter. 

According to this post by Screen Rant, "the Mortis gods were essentially tied to the Force itself, which is likely why Baylan still hears them calling to him. In any case, it could be that they wish for Baylan to find Mortis itself and act as the new keeper of the balance."

Note: I don't know a ton about the Father & Daughter & Son stuff. 

This makes sense, as all season long Baylan has been talking about how the Jedi and the Sith were doomed to keep going back and forth forever. 

Sadly, however, the actor who played Baylan, Ray Stevenson, passed away this year. It's unclear whether he'll be recast or the story will be scrapped. 

Chopper, We're Home

Thrawn and company make it to the proper galaxy, this time approaching the planet Dathomir. We see the cargo hold still full of what appears to be coffins, but I'm not sure what they're full of. Rumors have it that its fallen Nightsisters. 

Ezra manages to escape the star destroyer, and he meets up with the fleet. He has a touching reunion with Chopper and Hera, who basically was like his mom. It's good to see them reunited. 

Back on Peridia, we see the force ghost of Anakin looking down on Ahsoka and Sabine. 

What Now?

Ezra has switched places with Ahsoka and Sabine, and now how are they going to get home? My guess is something with the World Beyond Worlds? I don't think they're going to be able to get the purrgils, or the Eye of Sion. 

But what I also can't stop thinking about is that now there's precedent for Thrawn being in the canon world of Star Wars. So this is how Filoni does it! Yanking him through to the galaxy at roughly the same time as Zahn did in the Legends Universe with Heir to the Empire, around five years post-ROTJ.

Honestly it's brilliant. Ahsoka has set up a new war arc with Thrawn and I'm thrilled to see where it goes. 

The Math

Baseline score: 8

Bonuses: +2 Seeing Thrawn win is a delight, even though he's a bad guy. He's just so damn smart and calculating.

Penalties: -2 How the hell you gonna end a season like this?!

Nerd coefficient: +2 Fantastic finale and will appease hardcore Clone Wars nerds. I'm not nearly nerdy enough to have understood all of the references in this episode.

Gonk droid count: Zero!

POSTED BY: Haley Zapal, NoaF contributor and lawyer-turned-copywriter living in Atlanta, Georgia. A co-host of Hugo-nominated podcast Hugo, Girl!, she posts on Instagram as @cestlahaley. She loves nautical fiction, Vidalia onions, and growing corn and giving them pun names like Anacorn Skywalker. 

Recap — Ahsoka Episode 5: Shadow Warrior

Episode 5 will of Ahsoka will go down as one of the all-time great pieces of Star Wars content. 

Here we are — Ahsoka and Anakin, meeting in the World Between Worlds. Master and Padawan, separated by decades and a legacy of shame. What is there to say?

Turns out, a lot — though it will take the form of (imaginary?) time travel to enable Anakin teach Ahsoka her final lesson (since she left the Order before becoming a Jedi Knight). 

Also, Hayden Christiansen is KILLING it as Clone Wars Anakin! He didn't voice the animated character, but damn if doesn't replicate nearly perfectly.

But first, is the World Between Worlds real? Who can say! Is Anakin a mirage? We don't know! But he serves to help heal Ahsoka in this episode, and that's all that really matters. 

These Two Were Children

Anakin presents Ahsoka with a choice: to live, or to die. To help illustrate this, the two time travel back to the start of the Clone Wars, when Ahsoka was 14 and Anakin was 19. They were thrust into a galactic civil war, both teens trying to make sense of everything. 

Seeing Anakin de-aged and Ahsoka portrayed by a literal child really drives home the severity (and absurdity!) of their situation. It was easy while watching the Clone Wars to forget about this — cartoons by their nature are generally more light-hearted than their live-action counterparts.

But watching a young Ahsoka deal with the ravages of war and death was heartbreaking. (Thank God Filoni didn't put this young actress in a skimpy tube top, too). 

What Was Wrong With The Jedi?!

Lots of people talk shit about the Jedi, but I've seen myself as a Jedi Order apologist for a while. I respect their position, their way of life. But this episode really drives home how messed up the Jedi became towards the end of the prequels. Anakin himself states that they're no longer peacekeepers — they're now warriors.

But who appoints teenagers as generals in an army, no matter how skilled in the force they may be?

Watching Ahsoka as a teen really shows how unfair this was to everyone involved. — to the clones, to the Jedi, to all of the innocent bystanders across the galaxy. Palpatine really orchestrated a number on the entire galaxy. 

I know lots of people get tired of the Skywalker saga, but seeing it through Ahsoka's eyes invigorates it, and shows just how multifaceted Anakin's downfall truly was. Yes, the clunky dialogue and silly CGI give the prequels a bad name, but the story is truly Shakespearean. There's a reason these stories are still being made 50 years later.

Hera Still Searches

Hera, Jacen, and Carson's X-wing squad arrive too late, and they find no trace of where Ahsoka or Sabine went — or even if they're together, as a despondent Huyang remarks. Hera spends the episode convincing Carson to not give up quite yet as they make endless patrols and sweeps of the sea. 

But! Her son is the offspring of a Jedi (they finally mention Kanan!), and he eventually starts hearing lightsaber hums intermixed with the sound of the sea. This gives them the heart to continue searching, and with good reason — Ahsoka is out there and still alive. 

Unfortunately, the New Republic fleet enters the system, and it's time to distract them.

Choosing Not to Give In

Ahsoka has been struggling for years because of her connection to Anakin — as his only Padawan, she feels responsible for (or at the very least, adjacent to) his fall to the dark side. 

As they duel, he gives her the choice to give in to her anger and revenge — this, it seems, is her ultimate test. Briefly, her eyes turn red and Sith...

But she chooses not to give in to hate, fear, and anger. She succeeds where he failed, and will live to see another day.

She chooses life. 

It's no surprise that when she is fished out of the inky black drink on Seatos by the X-Wing marine rescue squad, she will eventually return as... Ahsoka the White.

We're Going A-Whaling!

With the map destroyed, the only way for Ahsoka to get to the next galaxy over to find Thrawn and Ezra is to hitch a ride with the Purgills. You read that right. Ahsoka steps outside her ship (she's gettting really good at this) and approaches the largest creature — then flies straight into its mouth.

(As an aside, I've been an avid Moby Dick lover for years, and I'm not going to lie, I found myself fantasizing about a space book of roving Purgill hunters. 10/10 would read!)

We can only assume that she's reaching out with the force to the creature and confirming the coordinates, but when Huyang asks her if she's sure, she says hell no!

But she's trying — and is ready to go find her friend.

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The Math

Baseline score: 9

Bonuses: +3 De-aged Anakin! Young Padawan Ahsoka! Purgill pod!

Penalties: -1 Non-Clone Wars fans won't be as moved, but they'll still understand why this episode is a big deal.

Nerd coefficient: +1 million This was literally our glimpse into a live-action Clone Wars.

Gonk droid count: Nary a one. That's okay, though.

POSTED BY: Haley Zapal, NoaF contributor and lawyer-turned-copywriter living in Atlanta, Georgia. A co-host of Hugo-nominated podcast Hugo, Girl!, she posts on Instagram as @cestlahaley. She loves nautical fiction, Vidalia onions, and growing corn and giving them pun names like Anacorn Skywalker. 

Recap — Ahsoka Chapter 4: Fallen Jedi

The tension ramps up as we get closer and closer to Thrawn's appearance — and an old friend appears in the final moments.

The latest episode opens with our heroes hiding in the red-leafed forest of Seatos (I love the idea of a planet with just one season instead of one clime — autumn forever!). Huyang is busy at work tinkering with the ship to get it back online. David Tenant continues to be absolutely charming as Ahsoka's co-pilot/servant/friend. 

A Difficult Choice

Ahsoka and Sabine discuss their predicament — if they can't retrieve the map from Elsbeth, they may have to destroy it. And with it, their last chance of finding Ezra. Sabine is crestfallen at this thought, despite Ahsoka's admission that it may be necessary to prevent Thrawn's return and becoming...HEIR TO THE EMPIRE. 

That's right. She said it. The title of Timothy Zahn's 1991 novel Heir to the Empire, the very first entry in the Expanded Universe of Star Wars novels. While Disney chose to scrap the majority of the plots of the 150+ novels in the EU, Thrawn was salvaged — thank the maker. 

Huyang Works Out

The enemies close in and launch a surprise attack as Huyang is outside the ship doing yet more repairs. As he's ambushed, he holds his own in a droid fight absolutely for the ages. Is Huyang the ur-droid of Star Wars? He's as powerful and sassy as K2SO, as diplomatic as Threepio, and as useful as R2-D2. 

Sabine and Ahsoka rush to help, charging off after Marrok and Shin.

Hera Comes The Calvary

Denied backup, Hera leaves Home One without authorization. She's a rebel, after all, and won't sit idly by while her friends are in danger. And she's not alone — she's got a squad of X-Wing pilots who believe in her enough to join in going AWOL. Including everyone's favorite space cop, Carson!

Calculating The Path to Thrawn

Elsbeth and Skoll insert the map into the stone remains and witchy astral projections shoot out into the sky, immersing them in a 3-D depiction of the galaxy. 

With that, the internal clock of the episode starts ticking. As soon as the calculations are complete, the Eye of Sion can make the ulti-mega-hyperspace jump to Thrawn — and Ezra. 

Two Against Two

Despite Huyang's advice to not separate, Sabine heads off to battle Shin Hati while Ahsoka takes on the mysterious Marrok. Both duels take place in the same autumnal forest locale, and it's giving dark and foreboding Starkiller vibes from The Force Awakens.

We get the rematch between Sabine and Shin that ended with Sabine in the hospital last time — but I could watch these two fight forever. The intensity is unmatched, and I fear I will never tire of two female characters engaged in epic lightsaber duels. Ahsoka makes quick work of Marrok, and runs after the map, leaving Sabine to continue with Shin. 

Two Former Jedi Meet

Ahsoka gets to the map, only to find Baylan. Here we see two former Jedi meeting, both representing the light(ish) and dark(ish) sides of the Force. Baylan admits that Thrawn's return will spark another war, but speaks cryptically about how it will create something greater. 

Ahsoka will not have it. They raise lightsabers and fight — again, I remain so enthralled by the stolid, old-timey way both Baylan and Shin wield their weapons, as if they're swinging broad swords in medieval England. Ahsoka grabs the map but it sears her hand, and she drops it. 

Sabine Nooooo

Meanwhile, Sabine and Shin are going at it, but Shin manages to throw a dirty smoke bomb to distract her and skirts away. Both run up on the Ahsoka/Baylan duel, and Ahsoka, distracted by Sabine, uses the force to push Shin into a plinth. 

This results in her being flung off the cliff, her fate unknown.

Sabine is left holding the map, and Baylan expertly manipulates her. One would say he even plays her like a fiddle. She's too afraid of destroying it for fear of losing Ezra forever — even if it means Thrawn may return. Sabine capitulates as she turns it back to Baylan. He then swiftly destroys it, ensuring that no one can follow them as they head to Thrawn. He takes her prisoner, but promises to reunite her with Ezra. 

Too Little, Too Late

Hera and company roar into the system and attempt to disable the Eye of Sion, but it's no use. In an absolutely brutal scene, the Ghost and the 5 starfighters get absolutely wrecked by the enormous engines as the Eye of Sion makes the jump to hyperspace — two pilots even die. Sabine is aboard the Sion, alone without friends headed to an entire different galaxy.

It's done then. The bad guys are on the way to Thrawn.

The World Between Worlds

The camera pans down to the crashing waves, and we expect to see Ahsoka clinging to a craggy cliff face or treading water trying not to drown. But instead, she's in a dark space, ethereal and luminous. This is no ordinary place. It's not even reality as we know it. 

Fans of Rebels will recognize the Word Between Worlds, a sort of mystical Force plane where all of time and space converges. It's not clear how Ahsoka ends up here, as the portal to it is found on Lothal. There must be another way, or perhaps Ahsoka is nearly dead, her spirit somehow occupying this mystical space. 

She hears "Hello, Snips"— Anakin's nickname for her — and she turns around and sees age-appropriate force ghost Anakin. Not Vader. This is redeemed Anakin Skywalker, as the show takes place after Return of the Jedi. 

And the best part? It's Hayden Christiansen. In the flesh. He smiles. She's in disbelief. The last time they met was during the Empire, when she battled a loathsome Darth Vader. Seeing him like this means that's how she realizes he was redeemed. 

It's so good. 

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The Math

Baseline score: 8

Bonuses: +2 Incredible lightsaber duels in the episode

Penalties: -1 I'm a pretty big Star Wars nerd and had to Google some things to understand every part of this episode.

Nerd coefficient: +5 Hayden Christiansen as REDEEMED ANAKIN IN THE WORLD BETWEEN WORLDS ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!

Gonk droid count: 2 moving, at least 3 without legs

POSTED BY: Haley Zapal, NoaF contributor and lawyer-turned-copywriter living in Atlanta, Georgia. A co-host of Hugo-nominated podcast Hugo, Girl!, she posts on Instagram as @cestlahaley. She loves nautical fiction, Vidalia onions, and growing corn and giving them pun names like Anacorn Skywalker.