Killer clowns are objectively scary, we'd all say. But somehow as a kid I couldn't realize what a joke this movie was.
Remember back in 2016 when creepy clowns started appearing all over the globe? It was easy for would-be scarers to do, because it seems like clowns are near universally frightening to many people. I was definitely scared of them as a kid, and Killer Klowns from Outer Space served no small part in this gigantic fear.
I was fortunate enough to never be exposed to Pennywise from It, though I knew he was in the pop culture ether. No, my first exposure came from two things: an Emmet Kelley clown poster my own mother decided for some reason to hang above my bed, and a clown lamp that also appeared around the same time. They didn't last very long, and I definitely remember a dramatic scene when they had to be quickly removed.
What scared me thenI didn't carry too much clown trauma going into the late '80s, but Killer Klowns from Outer Space became an HBO fixture, and therein lies my clown fright re-imagining. I do not remember watching it from start to finish ever, strangely enough, but I saw previews and clips while my parents were watching it on TV. I knew my parents enjoyed it, but they were in their late 20s and prone to enjoying dark comedies.
What I do remember, I remember in brief, impressionistic swatches, like some sort of modernist author from the 1920s. The absolutely horrific clowns (only later would I appreciate the extraordinary practical effects it took to bring them to life) are running amok in an unnamed city after their circus bigtop space ship crash lands on Earth. I remember the bright pink, cotton candy cocoons that enswathed their victims, and found myself feeling claustrophobic at the prospect.
Normal, everyday clowns are creepy enough, but these guys are grotesque, distorted, malevolent beings that kill and maim. No thank you.
There is also a slightly unhinged, rock and roll theme song titled the same as the film that is also somehow very disconcerting. It's slightly menacing, but also very, very catching.
This is all I really remember, honestly, about the movie, besides harboring a strangely antagonistic feeling towards it for 35 years. I haven't watched it since, but remember it being unsettling. As an adult, when I clicked past it while searching for movies on streaming platforms, I'd chuckle and say, "Oh, I'm not watching that ever again." And so it remained in the outskirts of my mind for a lifetime.
What scares me now
Reader, there is nothing scary about this movie. Yes, the clowns are gruesome, but if anything, I was in awe of the production value and how well-done they were.
You may notice that I left out a plot subsection in this review, but I did this purposefully because there's not really one to speak of. The clown aliens crash land on earth, then start killing people. End of plot. It was so bad that I actually found myself watching it in 5-10 minute increments because it was just so boring. This is a win, I suppose, for my adult self and my lack of fear. It's nice to know that some things are just unable to be reconciled when you're young.
I honestly can't believe I didn't revisit this film for a lifetime because of a few poorly sketched clown memories. I approached it with an open heart, though. I found myself thinking about the premise itself — alien clown beings that have traveled the universe and are violent. Perhaps it's like the classic chestnut of a million monkeys with a million typewriters somehow managing to type out Hamlet. Maybe, in a million galaxies, a sentient, traveling species emerged as circus clowns, with popcorn guns and a penchant for balloon animals. Sure.
But after I mused poetically at this for a few moments, I began to just be annoyed. Even at 88 minutes, it dragged and dragged. The movie is mainly visual bits that relate to circus activities: at one point, a killer clown is entertaining passersby on the street with a shadow puppet show. As the grand finale, he makes a scary monster that leaps from the shadow and devours the watchers. To kill a killer clown, you need only take aim at his big red honking nose.
I could go on and on, but it would only bore us both. Of all the movies I plan on watching for this Deja Boo series, I am most embarrassed by this one. There's no accounting for taste, I guess, and also no accounting for fear as a young, impressionable child. Clowns have firmly occupied a space in society as things of terror, and when you couple that with alien, murdering clowns, it's perfect fodder for an anxious child to latch on to. And latch I did!
Nuance is missing from a youthful perspective, as kids can't separate comedy from horror, and that's exactly what this movie is about: the hilarious results of killer alien clowns wreaking havoc on a small community. It worked with Halloween and Friday the 13th, and it worked (to some small, niche extent) with Killer Klowns from Outer Space.
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- Not every movie has its own rock and roll theme song
- The commitment to the circus bits is admirable
- Great practical effects
- Not scary one bit
POSTED BY: Haley Zapal, NoaF contributor and lawyer-turned-copywriter living in Atlanta, Georgia. A co-host of Hugo Award-winning podcast Hugo, Girl!, she posts on Instagram as @cestlahaley. She loves nautical fiction, growing corn and giving them pun names like Timothee Chalamaize, and thinking about fried chicken.
